Anybody have experience with this?

ERow--Just as you told your anonymous SJ friends how you feel, tell your real friends and family too....you don't have to be stoic and tough for anyone. Let other people be there for you...if they think you don't need support, or that you don't want to talk about it, they'll steer clear when you need them the most.

Boom and I have a friend here at SJ whose son is over there...not a day goes by that we don't think about it, and we're just an anonymous message board friend. I honestly don't know how his parents get through the days, but they do, and so will you.

Hang in there, and let us know how he's doing.

 

I think the important thing is that you are going into this with your eyes wide open. You've discussed it with your brother, and it doesn't sound like there is a lot of "unfinished business" i.e. lingering feuds and such. E-mails are a wonderful thing to keep in touch. But maybe make it a weekly thing, so you don't freak out if you don't hear from him after a few days. If the unit doesn't have a support group, I'm sure there are other military support groups that would welcome you. I think stuff like this is toughest on the families. The soldiers are comforted by their fellow soldiers, the families have to lean on each other.

 

friend of a friend is absolutely spot on. It's the exact same advice I got when I was dealing with the uncertainty of whether or not I had cancer. A nurse and my employees all told me that I could only worry about what I COULD control, not what *might* happen.

When I found out my diagnosis -- and more important, what that MEANT -- it was a huge relief. Even though I had cancer, I had a great chance to beat it. And beat it I have, so far.

EDIT to add: I know this doesn't specifically have to do with your situation, but I thought the uncertainty of what MIGHT happen in both cases could help you draw some kind of lesson from it.

 

You know, it dawns on me that I never gave any kind of an update after this. My apologies.

He spent a little while in Afghanistan, but he's been home now for some time. ...and he's going to be a father this summer.

 

That's great news. I started reading the first post on this thread and didn't realize it was two years old and was feeling your two-year-old pain. About halfway through is when I realized it was that old and I knew before I opened it up that you were the thread starter and the last poster, so I was hoping for (and expecting) good news.

Glad to hear he's back.