Another great read from Lane DeGregory of the St. Petersburg Times

Mike,

Thanks for filling in the blanks. It really was a great read. It made me go back through Lane's archive ... I would offer this: The Sports Journalism Summit really ought to consider bringing her in to discuss how to write good, short features (IIRC, that's one of the sessions).

 

Tremendous story. How was it played, Mike?

 

Mike:

Thanks for the clarification. As I said, I enjoyed the story very much. That way of referring to herself as if she wasn't involved was all that stuck out to me. Thanks for stopping by.

 

IJAG, I understand your point and think, too, that it's fair criticism. I just happen to disagree. Just don't think it matters, ethically, to avoid referring to that character as "a reporter" or "this reporter." In fact, I think that would slightly derail what is a very smooth, fluid narrative and would have injected the writer into the story unnecessarily. It it was a requirement that Lane refer to that person as a "reporter," then I probably would have suggested that anecdote not appear in the final draft, particularly in a moment as significant as that story's ending. As it is, the reader probably didn't notice, and I don't believe most would care about the distinction.

Perhaps I'm trying to read this as a reader might and not as a journalist. Just to play devil's advocate, would it have been preferable for Lane to refer to herself in first person in that instance? It might open a new can of worms, but I'm curious.

 

I guess if she hadn't included the sweaty palms, it wouldn't have mattered...but that detail was so stark, it was what finalized it for me that she was on the plane. It's a helluva Catch-22.

I actually think first person there would have been better. I'm not big on first person, but in that situation, where you're actually seeing the story through HER eyes, watching him freak out, reading the words she overheard...I think it would have worked. I don't think it would have distracted from the story at all, because it would have been one word, not a repeated reference.

 

To be honest with the reader -- the word is "transparency" --DeGregory should have made herself a character in the story. Be all but invisible. One phrase, high in the story, would have done it; or, just as good, an italic tagline saying she accompanied him. Whatever. But let the reader know she was there. Two reasons: 1) without attribution, readers inclined to distrust newspapers have reason to wonder how the reporter knew any of it, and 2) a reporter's presence changes a person's behavior, so readers should be given the opportunity to make their own judgment of the story: Mine is, it showed how the man behaved on one leg of one trip when accompanied by a reporter so closely observing him that she held his hand. Nothing bad about that. Just more honest than hiding behind "a woman."

 

Kindred said it better than I could. No surprise there.

 

Huntsie, Kindred, justagirl, thanks for your thoughtful comments. We played the story on 1A on Sunday and readers seemed to appreciate it.

I agree with all who say it would have been better to be clear that Lane was the woman Mr. Jones touched as the plane was approaching LaGuardia. Whether we accomplished this by using first person or "this reporter" or some other means, Kindred is right in saying the goal is transparency -- let the reader know what we did and how we did it.

I will say, in defense of the story as it is, that I'm sure many readers fully understood that Lane was the woman and saw that usage is a way of avoiding the clunkiness of some of the alternatives. (By the way, it's hard to imagine how anyone could have thought she was not on that plane.) But some fine people (as we see on this board) may not have been sure she was the woman, and of course that is not good.

Thanks for having me in for this talk.

Mike Wilson

 

There is a little bit of the "scientist observing nature" issue at work here. That theory, of course, states that the very act of a scientist being in the field observing his subject is interfering with the subject's natural behavior.

Not to be crass toward Mr. James, but knowing Lane was on this plane, next to him, holding his hand at one point ... seems to me to be interfering. Not in a bad way ... but possibly altering the way he typically behaves on these flights.

I don't think his behavior would have been much different ... but I do wonder if it was somewhat altered.

All this aside, Lane's one heck of a writer. I'd urge anyone to look back through her archives. Her (very) recent National Headlines award is well deserved.

 

Yeah, she is. I'd never heard of her before this thread.

I'd have liked it if she'd made herself a character in the story, but I liked this story just as well.

And about the flaws in the story, whatever ones we find....I'm pretty sure most stories will have them, don't they?

Great story, great read. Thanks for sharing, and thanks to Mike Wilson for sounding off on behalf of his paper and reporter. Class act.

 

Mike:

Mitch Albom would like to know why you had the reporter fly with the subject of the article.....


In all seriousness, I just wanted to say this one of the best "survivor" stories I've ever read -- and mostly because it was so simple, so well played, so devoid of over-the-top hyperbole. Your paper should be proud as should the reporter.

Pieces like this prove that we can still do great things in this business with a little bit of hard work and a whole lot of thoughtful planning.

 

I'm with the editors on this one. While I know in these days of layoffs and budget slashing it is risky to assume a reporter actually travels with her subject, I thought it was clear throughout the story that Lane was with him on that trip. Referring to yourself as "a woman" is a pretty common device for writers, it seems to me, so I immediately assumed he was holding Lane's hand, especially when she described the state of his hand. I suppose you could have employed the first person but I don't think it would have led to greater transparency, with apologies to Mr. K.