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Another gamer (women's college basketball). Edit away.

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by earlyentry, Feb 15, 2008.

  1. earlyentry

    earlyentry Member

    Morrow emerging as a force for Orange women
    Freshman follows 24-point game against Marquette with 23 vs. Seton Hall.
    Thursday, February 14, 2008

    South Orange, N.J. - It was an inauspicious start Wednesday night for No. 21 Syracuse, but when freshman Erica Morrow got going from all angles on the court, the Orange left Walsh Gymnasium with their best start in school history.
    Maybe it's time for another first-year player outside of Connecticut to get some publicity in the ultra-competitive Big East.
    Morrow's coach certainly thinks so.
    "We got a big-time freshman, too," Syracuse head coach Quentin Hillsman said after Morrow dropped in a team-high 23 points to lead his team over Seton Hall 81-72.
    "We just have to keep her on the floor, let her be aggressive, let her make plays and she's going to do that," Hillsman said. She's going to keep us going. When I recruited her, I recruited her to make plays."
    Morrow, following a 24-point outburst against Marquette while earning Big East Freshman of the Week, glided all around the perimeter with her pink bushy ponytail waving and connected on five 3-pointers. She nailed three in a decisive first-half run.
    "It takes us awhile to get going. We're trying to stop that," Morrow said of the team's early struggles on the offensive end. The Orange made one basket in eight minutes as it trailed 15-4 to start the game. "But once we got going, things started clicking for us."
    Four players finished in double-figures for Syracuse, which won its 19th game, the most
    since the 1987-88 season. The Orange finished 16-of-24 from the field in the second half and led by as many as 16 points.
    Still, Morrow and the rest of the Orange feel there is plenty of season left.
    "We're just taking it one game at a time," Morrow said of the team's start. "We haven't made a thing yet. We still have six more games, six important games, left to go. Some teams can lose their last six games and not make (the NCAA Tournament.)"
    Fantasia Goodwin took advantage of the Pirates' depleted frontcourt, finishing with 20 points on 10-of-12 shooting. She scored inside almost entirely, opening things up for Morrow on the outside.
    "I'm glad to take advantage of it, throw the first punch," Goodwin said. "We started off sluggish today but we came back, won it and pushed through."
    An 11-0 run midway through the first half, ending with a Morrow 3, gave the Orange its first lead at 23-22. The teams traded baskets into halftime, but momentum was clearly with Syracuse, Morrow and Goodwin.
    Seton Hall is going through the roughest stretch of the season without conference rebound-leader, Noteisha Womack (concussion).
    "The schedule is the schedule," Seton Hall coach Phyllis Mangina said. "It doesn't matter who you play in the league; it's going to be a tough game. The league is just incredible top-to-bottom. So whoever you're playing is going to be prepared and come at you . . . we just have to shoot the basketball better."
    The Pirates finished 13-of-30 from the floor in the second half. Syracuse outscored them 51-44.
    "We got to keep winning," Goodwin said. "Notre Dame (SU's next opponent, at 7 p.m. Saturday at the Carrier Dome) is going to be extremely important. Coach is not going to stress it enough. It's going to be real important for us to win."
  2. earlyentry

    earlyentry Member

    Re: Another gamer (women's college basketball). Edit Away

    I had two stories to write on this night...a first for me... I was under some duress...about 30 minutes to churn this one out, although my quotes were ready to go beforehand.

    And writing "bushy pink ponytail waving" is a regret of mine...what can you do?
  3. Stitch

    Stitch Active Member

    I won't chop it up line-by-line, but you did refer to Morrow as a he in the fourth graf.

    Also you contradicted yourself when you said in the lede that it was the best start in the school's history. Later on, you said it was the best start since the 87-88 season.

    "It takes us awhile to get going. We're trying to stop that," Morrow said of the team's early struggles on the offensive end. The Orange made one basket in eight minutes as it trailed 15-4 to start the game. "But once we got going, things started clicking for us."

    This is awkward in splitting the quote with a sentence in-between.

    Also, Orange is a their, not an its because you don't say the Orange is (singular) improving.

    Good read still.
  4. earlyentry

    earlyentry Member

    A few things: This is the best start for the Orange in school history...start...They finished the 1987-88 season with 19 wins...
    And with the fourth graph...Isn't Hillsman the subject? Morrow led his team (meaning Hillsman)
  5. Stitch

    Stitch Active Member

    fair enough on the wins.

    But I the "his" could confuse readers like myself because the player led her team. I don't like to hear that coaches lead the team to wins because the have little to do with game performance.
  6. TyWebb

    TyWebb Well-Known Member

    I think you need to make the lede of this story the "We have a big-time freshman, too" part of it and move the best start in school history into the body. The first line was a bit much for me to wrap my head around at the very beginning of the story. Maybe because I'm dense, I don't know.

    You have three clauses in your lede, which is something I always try to avoid. Make the lede a smoother intro to the story. That is why I think the Freshman bit would be better. Something like:

    Syracuse coach Quentin Hillsman is ready to see a freshman not wearing a Connecticut jersey to get some attention.
    "We got a big-time freshman, too," Hillsman said.
    The Orange women's coach may be close to getting his wish after freshman led his team blah blah blah....you get the point.
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