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Another Column for you guys to tear apart... (This one on Braylon's TO-ness.)

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by FantasyAlliance.cm, Dec 21, 2006.

  1. Hey, Braylon, Catch This!

    These days there are a lot of celebrities trying to crossover from one field into another. Will Smith and Ice T went from rapping to acting. Brandon Lloyd went from football to rapping. Ron Artest went from basketball to boxing (against fans) to rapping. K-Fed went from mooching to rapping. Terrell Owens also tried rapping. Now, Braylon Edwards is trying to be T.O.

    The most recent distraction that T.O. and other football stars have added to their repertoires is authoring books. T.O. wrote Catch This, T.O., and most recently Little T Learns to Share (no joke). Retired star O.J. Simpson (who had his own crossover after his football career ended: actor to murderer) tried publishing If I Did It.

    Romeo Crennel’s players have even gotten into the act at times: “I had experience with a guy in New York during his rookie year. I think he wrote a book titled, Just Give Me the Damn Ball!” Even if Crennel can’t win games, he does have a good record of getting his players’ books on the shelf, and that could work wonders for Braylon if he wants to keep up his pursuit of T.O.

    Braylon recently had the chance to live like T.O. for a week when he staged a sideline sideshow week 12 against Cincinnati, screaming first at Charlie Frye and then at Reuben Droughns after Droughns intervened. That was a fitting end to a week in which he cried about how his own teammate’s, safety Brian Russell’s, week 2 hit on Bengals WR Chad Johnson was “bull----.”

    When he called out Russell before the Cincinnati game, some people thought it was just to keep the Bengals from giving him a retaliatory shot. (Personally, I felt he did that just by keeping his catch total down to two passes.) If he is really such a coward, maybe he could write Get That Damn Ball Away From Me Before I Get Tackled. Perhaps that was why he was yelling at Frye on the sideline. The play before, Frye’s pass was intended for Braylon, and he wanted to make sure that no passes came his way again.

    On the other hand, Braylon could use his book to defend his tarnished image. He could make a valid argument against those who think he ruined the Browns chemistry; the Browns never had any chemistry in the first place. Perhaps his book could be If We Had Team Chemistry, Here's How I'd Kill It. He has a ringing endorsement from at least one league insider. Coach Coughlin, I mean Cochran, said, “His receiving gloves don’t fit, so you must acquit.” Maybe Cochran has a point; you’ve seen how many passes Braylon drops.

    Then again, writing about such an incendiary topic as murder (even if it is just team chemistry) is likely to be a bad P.R. move. (I don’t think it worked out too well for O.J.) Instead, Braylon could try to write a book that helps children like Owens’s book does. In T.O.’s book, Little T learns that “Football isn't fun unless you play with someone else." For Braylon, "Football isn't fun unless you yell at someone else."
  2. fishwrapper

    fishwrapper Active Member

  3. jshecket

    jshecket Member

    No mention of his helicopter trip to Columbus... He apprently loves to lose.
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