An immature lede

Covering a police beat, I come across a lot of strange and stupid stuff. When it's stupid, I say it - to my co-workers in the newsroom, not in my story.

I came across this lede today from a story about how some "Tough Mudder" competitors have been diagnosed with a virus that has caused nausea, high temperatures and diarrhea.

It's a lede I never would have written, though I might have thought or said it.

Your thoughts, fellow SJers?
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The lede:

Who would have thought something could go wrong while jumping in puddles of mud, running through live electric wires and swimming through freezing tubs of water?
Oh, that's right, everybody.

 

I don't mind the first line.

I don't like the second line.

 

I don't like the wording on any of it.

Maybe:

She jumped in the mud puddles, ran through the electrical wires and swam in the freezing water.

Now she's sick.

 

Change the third word to 'of,' now you've kicked off the official 4th of July SJ BBQ.

 

The guy actually wrote a sports column about the Knicks. The lede:

"Carmelo Anthony can lead a team to a championship, said no one."

 

I loath question ledes. Very immature. Not a fan. Trying to be too cute. If people are getting sick due to the set up of this competition, it is not the time for a soft cutesy lede.

 

Personally don't care for question ledes. Also agreed that the topic is not one to get cute with. Like Wolv, I didn't let newsroom humor into my copy, not on a crime/courts beat. The public doesn't always appreciate our brand of humor. Plus, seems like it editorializes a bit.

 

They could have mentioned that the toughest hurdle they faced that day was one they could not see or the hurdles in this race have not been completed.

Questions and snarky humor in ledes are a dangerous mix.

 

I would have gone with:

John Doe thought the hard part would be jumping in puddles of mud, running through live electrical wires and swimming through freezing tubs of water.

But now he and several others "Tough Mudder" competitors are battling a virus that nausea, high temperatures and diarrhea, that officials suspect they picked up on the course.

 

There was a fairly terrible lede in the Boulder Daily Camera a few days ago about a Colorado football player who was in the Aurora theater the night of the massacre.

Something to the effect of "Mike Smith has watched a lot of game film, but there's one film he has no desire to watch."

Pretty insensitive and thoughtless, overall. A good editor would have caught it, but like most other papers these days, they're stretched thin enough that it's a spellcheck-and-send process.

 

What's egregious about it is poking fun at someone who's experienced what's described as symptoms of a fairly serious illness. In general I'm not crazy about ledes ending with questions, but once in a while on a lighter topic I can live with it. Snarky ledes seem to be more accepted - if no encouraged - in online publications.