American Horror Story - Anybody watching?

You guys should get together and join the group "I don't like having my house broken into by Taco at 4 a.m.".

 

Could be worse. You could be woken up by Korean Dick Vitale.

 

Or have Rafi join your Golden Gate.

 

"I'm day drunk. Get ready to see my dick!"

 

Since they introduced the Black Dahlia (and a papal end-of-the-world theory for good measure) into the mess (but entertaining girl-on-girl good kind of a mess) that is American Horror Story last night, here's some ghosts that may or may not appear in the Murder House, given their let's thrown everything including the kitchen sink in ethos ...



The Bell Witch, probably America's most famous and freaky real-life haunting
Probability (1 to 10): 10 (creepy as hell)



The Flying Dutchman ghost ship
Probability (1 to 10): 10 (Because Dylan McDermott likes boats and ho's)



The Shining Twins
Probability (1 to 10): 10 (duh)



The Less Famous Ghost Dude In Bear Costume Giving Another Ghost A Blow Job From The Shining
Probability (1 to 10): 30 (Oral sex = basic cable ratings gold! Gay oral ghost sex? Through the charts!)



Patrick Swayze from Ghost
Probability (1 to 10): 0 (But only because he's dead. If he were alive, it would be a 10, and even though he's dead, you know they've thought about a way around it.)



Slimer Ghost From Ghostbusters
Probability (1 to 10): 1 (C'mon man. Don't go too far with this. I mean, its Ghostbusters, right? We're trying to do a serious show about horror here)



Sumerian Goddess From Ghostbusters
Probability (1 to 10): 10 (Whoa, check that, she's hot! Girl-on-girl with the red-headed maid in the script, stat!)



Random Ghost From Scooby-Doo
Probability (1 to 10): 6 (Let's spitball this. It's possible he was a WWII ship captain who stole Japanese gold from a captured freighter and bought the Murder House with the profits. But his sin was punished when a formerly interred Japanese-American, who went mad during his WWII interment, but managed to get a job at Murder House as the ship captain's houseboy, killed him because he loathed his racism/secretly wants him sexually, which is why he cajoled him to put on the old diving suit as a fetish thing before he killed him, the captain thinking his houseboy was going to bring him prostitute trim. Now both are damned to the Murder House. Guest starring Anthony Michael Hall and Gedde Watanbe to bring a little 80s nostalgia into it. Brilliant!)



Charlie Brown In A Ghost Costume
Probability (1 to 10): 10 (He's famous, he's in. He definitely has a thing for the red-headed maid)

 

I've actually enjoyed the last two episodes more as they've kind of explored the ghosts more. Why they're there, what they want, what their plans are. Better than just having them pop up randomly.

 

It is getting slightly better and lucid, but it cracks me up how many freaking ghosts are in that house and how many more they keep throwing at the wall to see if they stick. There are fewer occupants in the Vegas Bellagio.

 

Hahahahaha. And the mistress just keeps killing people to add more!

 

Doesn't matter. I'm not watching anymore since the hot red-headed maid revealed her true self to Dylan McDermott, which I would guess, means less-to-zero screen time for the red-headed maid in future episodes. I call bullshit.

I hope they do the dude in bear costume from The Shining, if only as a joke. That would rock hardz.

 

Another mess of an episode this week. I don't even know why I'm still watching this show. Should've just stuck with Christmas Vacation for the millionth time.

 

Me & the wife like the show & watch it together every week. It's the only only one we do this with. We like soaps.

 

Bubbler,

Mad props to you for the ghost list.

[/bell witch aficionado...haunted me as a kid]