Alone for new year's

Again, I'm spending way too much money on one night that I don't even really like.

2005: Lake Tahoe. Fun. Cold. Saw a drunk 16 yr old kid go face-first into a pole and mash his head. His friend was too drunk to know what to do. I threw the kid over my shoulder and took him "just up the road" while my dick friends said they'd wait for me. Ended up walking in the snow a half a mile with some little asshole slung over my shoulder. Friends left. Walked home 1.5 miles in snow.

2006: Las Vegas. Fun. Crowded. Walked the strip all night and almost hooked up with a 16-yr old (I was about 22 btw) but chickened out because of that whole "statuatory rape" thing I hear about. Ended up lost from my friends with another friend.

2007: Jerusalem. Fun. Wasted. On a trip with a bunch of people. Hooked up with some girl who was one of the most annoying girls I've ever met. She, um, tended to me, and like Somthing about Mary, I had no clue where it went. NExt day, I'm at a bar with blacklights, and lets just say my sweater was never worn again.

Same night, it's 5 in the morning, my best friend rolls back to our room with a truly psychotic chick. Some 18 yr old who cuts herself or something. He pulls me aside and says, pretend you're asleep.

So I roll over and they start making out in the bed next to me. And the beds were almost touching. Eww. They're going at it, I'm trying not to laugh and/or throw up, and I hear a moan. They're shagging like rabbits and I'm dying. They, um, finish and he gets up to go to the bathroom. The light switch was confusing — three lights in a row, ione up, one down, one up — and he flips on the wrong one. I turn around, and he's standing there, in a polo shirt, socks and a condom. No pants. No underwear. A used condom. He tries to turn off the light, but mixes it up. For the next three minutes, it's a techno showwith my boy's dong — just used dong — hanging out.

Funniest night of my life.

2008: Spending one-hundred-and-seventy-five-fucking dollars to go to Les Doux in L.A. even though I live 5 hrs away. It will be fun, but I got peer pressured into it. Damnit.

I wish I was back in Israel.

 

I wouldn't be surprised. Hell, Stan's high right now on the catnip stuff you sent him.

 

Poor cat's got no balls. He's gotta have fun some kind of way.

 

You're a hopeless fuckin romantic, ain't ya?

"I will hopefully do her" ranks as one of the funniest phrases ever written here.

 

Absolutely.

Maybe it's because I haven't struggled to do anyone in a while. I'm >99 percent since 1993 or so.

 

My wife is giant with child and will be in bed by nine.

Thus, my plans are to have a couple of buddies over, hit a bowl the size of a toilet, and laugh like assholes when Dick Clark slurs his way into two-shousanth-and-eighth.

Shortly thereafter, I will go to Hell, hopefully just for an evening.

 

Your night sounds alot like mine. Well, except for the pot.

 

Based on the overall tenor of the posts on this thread, I thought this pic might brighten things up a little.

 

Tried this week to snag a date for New Years and so far I've got nothing. That said, I'll probably be at home being pissed off and miserable.

 

Darn ... a change of plans ... looks like I'm going to the Flames game instead.

 

And then again, maybe it won't.
When you old folks go to bed at 6 p.m. cause it's dark, you stand a good chance of waking up like six more times before midnight to pee...