Almost ESPN-free

Yes, Berman is insufferable.
He's also on SportsCenter about 2 minutes per week.
The Sunday night show he hosts is easy enough to avoid.
The rest? Van Pelt? Neil Everrett? Stan Verrett? Rece Davis? These people are really that hard to watch? ESPN has taken sports from being something you wished you could see to something you can see as much as you want. And they're a problem? The constant carping about their enterprise is beyond boring.

 

Its not just that insufferable prick Berman, who swoops in to ruin the MLB All-Star activities and U.S. Open golf as well.

Its Coors Light Cold Hard Facts in the middle of Sportscenter, which are neither cold, nor hard, nor facts. Its "Jacked Up". Its their fixation on asshats like TO or Brett Favre. Its the Budweiser Hot Seat. Its putting graphics of the score on top of the last highlight of the game, so you don't actually see the winning putt, or game-saving catch because its covered up. Its Mike Lupica. Its the Red Sox-Yankeecentric coverage of baseball. Its slapping the name of one of their reporters to attribute to every breaking sports story. Its making up fake fights between talking heads, like Sean Salisbury vs. John Clayton. Its "Hey Golic? Yess, Greenie." Its their shitty food at ESPNzone. Its actually listening to a telecast with Joe Morgan. Its talking about LeBron to the Knicks for four years. Its buffoons on their air yelling at each other for eight hours each weekday, instead showing, you know, sports. Its spending the month of August exploiting 12-year-old little leaguers. Its their insistence that the "experts" make bold predictions, which resulted in John Kruk one year saying he thought the Pirates would be leading the NL Central. Its Dick Vitale giving 12 months a year blowjobs to his favorite coaches. Its Stephen A. Smith. Its ESPN Hollywood.

In short, its a network who appeals to a fan with the intelligence of this guy:

 

Putting aside the studio shows for a second, it occurred to me last weekend how excruciatingly well-produced ESPN's live game broadcasts are in comparison to CBS and FOX. At least for the moment.

I found myself enthralled with some mediocre SEC tilt on ESPN... then rolling my eyes at the directing on a FOX NFL game the next day. (Example: Defensive holding called on the Redskins. Cut to the defensive coordinator. 2 plays later. Penalty called on the Redskins during a punt return, cut to the special teams coordinator. It's like a computer is directing the telecast.)

ESPN seems to have the game broadcast down to a science. They must be hiring and/or paying really well out of their remote division.

 

Hey, ESPNZone food isn't too bad. But other than that, solid points.

 

And yet I could counter with cutting to a commercial during a review in the Georgia-Arkansas game and missing not only the decision but also the next play.

In their defense, they did go back and explain what had happened.

 

Don't know which ESPNZone you're talking about, dools, but the one in DC is horrendous. The service is awful and the food is overpriced crap. The one in Anaheim sucked balls too. And no matter what time of day you're there, it's always an hour wait.

Other than that, I don't have much beef with ESPN. Yeah, some of the stuff sucks, and I rarely if ever visit the Web site. And I wish it showed more actual sporting events as opposed to useless regurgitation of opinions and news. But the problems I have with the network don't keep me from watching because it's nice to have the option of seeing sports 24/7.

 

ESPNZone was a decent place to have a few adult beverages a decade ago, before the dark times, before the empire. The concept is a bit outmoded now, as many franchise sports bars have table screens and that kind of thing.

And as a Nielsen viewer I am more interested in not being aggravated by "talent," in studio or in the booth, than some deft cutaway to an overweight offensive line coach after his line blows it on a 3rd and 1. For fuck's sake, the Mikes didn't even know the rules on the Louis Murphy debacle last week, and Warren Sapp rightly called them out on it today (without name).

 

Amen. Not sure I could have said it better myself.

 

Outside the Lines is a show done by a true journalist and one who was there in the beginning of this network that has gone way too Hollywood.

 

Face it--85 percent of this country is stupider than fuck. Ever wonder why politicians say fear-mongering half-truths they don't mean (i.e. "death panels" or "pals around with terrorists") ? Because uneducated Americans fall for it.

The casual, dumb sports fan loves Chris Berman. They love Yankees-Red Sox. They love Brett Favre. Etc.

I'm a little more than casual, being a sports journalist. I like watching live college sports. I like seeing all the highlights. I ignore the insufferable crap. And I keep watching ESPN because it's a sports channel and I like sports.