Airplane! alert

Screw the NFL playoff pregame shows.

Comedy Central has "Airplane!" on today.

"I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes."

 

I was just about to start a thread on this.

"I like my coffee black, like my men."

 

"Excuse me, stewardess ... I speak jive."

 

Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again. There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

 

"All right, give me ham on 5, hold the mayo."

 

Tommy, do you like gladiator movies?

 

Surely, you can't be serious.

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

 

There's a sale at Penney's!

 

Leon's getting larger!

 

"When they hear this, the shit's going to hit the fan."

Splat!

 

Chump don't want no help, chump don't get no help. He ain't got no brains anyhow.

 

Shit!
(Golly)