Aftermath of an AWOL roommate

Solid.

 

Believe it or not, if you just sell his stuff, you'd probably he held legally libel. Stick it in storage, send a registered letter telling him where it is if you have an address, take him to small claims for what he owes, don't pay the storage bill and then they'll auction it off.

 

Actually, I think you can post a classified ad stating that said belongings must be picked up in 30 days or will be sold.

 

Bullshit, of course. Here is how you deal with such people:

"Seriously? Who the fuck you think I am, asshole — Dog The Fucking Bounty Hunter? I ain't his mommy, I ain't his daddy, I ain't legally responsible for him, you're so full of shit it's coming out your ears and you not only don't have a legal leg to stand on, you don't even have a legal crutch to help get your fat ass off the ground. Hell, you're probably some Air Farce puke as it is. If his ass shows up with him still attached to it, I might — might, mind you — remember to give you a call if you can pull your head out of your ass between now and then. But any obligation that might be between you and him is just that — between you and him, not between you and me and I can get a fucking platoon of flesh-eating lawyers to back me all the way to the Supreme Fucking Court on that, mister. And the next time you call this phone number without an invitation, you'd better start your end of the conversation with about 20 minutes of undignified groveling! Is that clear?! Good! Now fuck off!" {SLAMS PHONE DOWN!}

;D

 

That's one of the main drawbacks of the wireless phone world -- no more slamming the phone down for effect.

 

All I know is this: short of dunking them in ocean water, Motorola's Nextel phones are tough sonzabitches. You can, in fact, slam them down for effect. ;D