Advice welcome. When my kids can't learn much more from me on sports.

Again, I'm not espousing an opinion, but the argument for engagement/connection and retention is used to justify all extracurriculars, not just sports.
Band, football, flag team, cheer, spring musical - all of these things cost money yet exist outside of the core education mission.
A popular argument used to justify them is that the dropout rate would soar without them because students would be disengaged from school.
I'm not saying that's true. I'm syaing that's a popular justification for those expenses.
Further, it is espoused that a school district cannot pick and choose. If you keep the spring musical, you've got to keep sports.

 

There's a lot of good points in what you said, Alma. I've seen too many bad youth coaches in our area that I'll be very hesitant to let my kids even play in some of the leagues.

I may have told this story before here, but a former SE of mine went to cover an all-star Pony Baseball tournament in our area, and was taking some pics of a game in the 9-10 year-old division. It's the bottom of the last inning, tie game, and the leadoff kid doubles to start the inning. Next hitter drops the sac bunt, runner goes to third, one out. Hell of a fundamental play – you won't see some big leaguers drop it down and make that play. The coach is SCREAMING at the bunter the whole way back to the dugout ("YOU SWING AWAY!!!! WHO TOLD YOU TO BUNT?!?!?!?"). So what that tells me is this: The kid actually watched enough baseball and had learned enough about the game to know that a bunt was the right play, but some scumbag coach wanted to see the kid swing for the fences. Bullshit.

Yeah that's just one example, but I've been around those leagues enough to know I'll be damned if I put my kids on a "traveling all-star" team. They want to play in the local Little League, great. They play out the season and go play soccer, learn an instrument, do Boy Scouts, whatever. But I'll be damned if I'm going to subject my family to crap like that.

I also think you can't understate the impact some of these sports on families. I've been in situations where the entire family dynamic revolved around these summer leagues. Between practices, games and travel, every night of the week is accounted for, and that's after the parents put in a full day. When the only time you get to interact with your kids is en route to practice or a game, it's a problem. When the only time you get to interact with your spouse is while watching kids play, it's a problem. At some point you have to ask: is this worth it?

 

Alma and Buck

Not sure if you are saying all extracurriculars should be privatized or dropped or what? That's why they are extracurricular.

There have always been junior high and high school teams that cut players for five decades or more. Some sports have way too many people try out and some have too few.

There is always home-schooling if you feel like schools just babysit kids and don't teach them.

 

I'm really not arguing one way or another. I think there are valid points on all sides.
I do have an opinion. I'm just not expressing it.

 

Buck and Alma have really got me thinking with some great points, as usual.

Alma, I think you could write an entire book on "In Defense of Well-Roundedness." I think my father is the consummate jack of all trades, master of none... and he's one of the most amazing people i've ever known.

Need a bunk bed built? He's your guy. Diswasher broken? He can do it. Need to know how to throw a curve ball? He's got you covered. Want the definition of a black hole? He can discuss it for hours. He supports the "fair tax," cooks a mean Southern-style breakfast (sans the homemade biscuits-- those are like hockey pucks), hangs a lovely drapery, is a self-taught golfer who once won the Delta Airlines employee tournament, can take apart your car and put it back together again, only better... and as a kid when I used to ask him, "Dad, explain World War I," he could do it.

What a neat person. I wouldn't mind one bit if my son grew up to be like that.

 

Just an observation from a parent of three HS athletes, ages 15-18, who played sports pretty much year-round since they were five:

Not surprising that so many of their friends have chronic physical problems, especially back pain, disc issues, knee destruction, surgeries...it's really sad to see. We're not talking about game injuries, this is wear and tear on young bodies that never get a rest. They go around the calendar from football to basketball to baseball, or maybe soccer and lacrosse, until the coach makes them commit to one sport and they go hard all year.

I work out at a facility that does a lot of sports rehab for pro athletes, the place is packed with high school kids coming back from surgeries and injuries. They look like war veterans.

Of course, try telling your kids they need to take a season off to lay on the couch and rest, or skip the summer sports camp. Sure, Mom. But if you can delay the intensity and relentless grind of year-round training, you're probably doing your kid a favor in the long run.

 

From that description, your dad sounds like a MASTER of many trades!

 

Yes, he's a very bright guy. But just because he won an employee golf tournament once... didn't mean he was headed for Q School, know what i mean? And we love his cooking, but he's not good enough for Top Chef. We keep telling him he could make a small fortune with his woodwork, making furniture and stuff. But he says if he had to do it for money, he wouldn't enjoy it.

I guess my point is that he wasn't really good enough or driven enough at any of those things to be "at the top." But the fact that he is incredibly well-rounded makes him (A) a great conversationalist; (B) a guy A LOT of people depend on for advice, fixing things, etc.; and (C) one hell of a great father.

Not too bad.

And to the OP's point about possibly having a "special" athlete on his hands... and then to Alma's point... Would I rather have a special athlete or a special person?

 

Helping people become more well rounded is the concept of the classic liberal arts education model, but that is not en vogue very much in the industry nor the public consciousness these days.

 

Don't take opportunities to play for granted. When I was 11 and 12 20 years ago, our only baseball option was Little League and I loved it. Thing is, I was terrible (on Timmy Lupus' level), but every chance I got to play I relished it even if it was for an inning or two a game.

I tried to play beyond Little League but was cut. Tried to play football in middle school, but was too small and cut. I warmed the bench for the junior high basketball team, but made it as far as freshman ball before I was cut. I loved soccer, but the football-loving school district did not offer it and there were no teenage rec leagues around to play in.

I suppose I could have done track, golf or cross country, but I didn't have much interest in those sports at the time. I got my fill of athletics through high school at the park, in drive ways or just goofing around with friends, but I always have carried a feeling with me that I missed out somehow.

 

But would he be "successful?"

Your son has a real chance, I'd say. Being well-rounded is going to be cool again in a generation.

 

Precisely. You wanted to, would have taken the opportunity to, probably would have enjoyed it to death, but some guy who used wear Zubaz pants wants to a build a legacy.

Which, IMO, he has every right to do. For a private organization.