Advice welcome. When my kids can't learn much more from me on sports.

I've had the privilege of watching a group of reasonably nice 7-year-old boys grow into 12 individual steaming 10-year-old turd piles as a result of travel ball. They've been taken out of our local league, only they're around the fields enough to strut their stuff (and in many cases bully) all the other kids who aren't as good. They've been told they're the best, and they all believe it. I would be embarrassed if my sons acted that way and I would take away every privilege they currently enjoy. But those parents are too busy being proud that the kid went 2 for 3 against the best pitcher from the next county over. And a clique has formed among the parents such that if the kid wants to quit the team, Mom is traumatized because she doesn't get to hang out with her pedicure buddies and Dad just, well, Dad has no reason to live.

And because they are away playing baseball every weekend, and also because Dad is drilling the killer instinct in them and they don't really know how to shut it off when they're just playing kickball at school, none of the kids has any friends who aren't baseball players.

I don't know you, exmedia. But based on my experience, here are my statistical projections if you start doing travel ball:

0.0001 percent chance your son plays in the major leagues
0.1 percent chance he will get a college scholarship
98.5 percent chance you will need a behavior intervention before he reaches high school

 

Your story is appreciated, LTL. It's why I'm trying to find the balance here as well.

I have seen the cliques form with youth sports far too often.

Some days I might need a "behavior intervention" anyway, youth sports or not.

 

The younger princess recently joined the local club soccer team, and starts playing U8 this year. We live in a city that's too small to support a local league beyond the YMCA, so we're going to have to drive an hour four Saturdays this fall for two games each Saturday.

I'm a little leery of this, because it seems so much like a traveling team. But what I love about this club is they claim (claim being the operative word. We'll see what it's really like) they are more interested in developing rather than winning. I couldn't give a shit about her team winning or her scoring goals. I just hope they stay true to that because our options around here are fairly limited.

 

I'm still young enough to believe that I have some sort of say in what my son grows up to do, but I'd like him to look into individual sports when he grows up. Nothing wrong with the team-sport kids, but the HS athletes I interact with that impress me the most are usually from cross-country, swimming and golf.

 

They are almost universally the most articulate hs athletes you'll come across.

From what I've seen, the travel teams take themselves way too seriously, so much so that it siphons off the fun of playing. Once that happens, what's the point?

 

The sad irony of high school sports these days is that only the very best athletes are 'allowed' to play multiple sports.

Every other kid gets bullied into drilling for one sport or another year-round. And it starts early. It's very sad to see.

If he still has the hunger at 12 or 13--and he has the ability--your son will find a place on those travel teams then. Let him experience other sports now, hell send him to band camp even. After a few years he'll discern what activities he likes and doesn't like.

 

I have two boys 9 and 11.

My oldest likes baseball, doesn't quite love it to the point of dying to play travel ball but that's okay with me and the missus. He made an all-star team as a 9 yr old but this past year the pool was bigger and he did okay but was not a stud. He actually might be a late bloomer because he's starting to listen and watch the Giant games with me.

The younger one I thought was the more talented one at an early age but his enthusiasm has been killed because he's the smallest and has not done too well. He's thinking of quitting this year which would be a shame but that's okay.

As for the travel ball, that's all the rage in my area and its too bad because I hear/see from the parents the non-stop hotel rooms/travel, the abandonment of the local Little League. Now of course I see the pros too, comraderie, good coaching. But I despise the cliques that develop.

My take is read what your boy really wants to do. If he enjoys the batting cage time with you and does not hunger for more, you're fine. You can also do some camps/clinics from a local college coach, I'm sure they are offered. I would not think that he has to play travel ball at this age to "keep up." Kids can change radically each year and the best now might not be next year.

 

From my experience, the "commitment" lesson is the toughest part of this.
When my kid was still in elementary school, she went in to AYSO because all the kids were doing it. Then she gravitated toward a group of school friends in a Girl Scouts troop and joined that. And, of course, there was the inevitable conflict: apple picking vs. game day.
When she got into high school, it was club volleyball. We had a serious discussion about "commitment." And toward the end of the season, the team deteriorated to the point that only six girls were left. That meant everybody had to show up for everything. She was the captain and setter for a lower-level team.
Then, a boy she was friends with died during spring football practice. There was a candlelight vigil for him that she had to miss because of volleyball practice, and the next weekend the funeral service conflicted with the regional playoffs, so she couldn't attend the funeral.
She understood the commitment, but it was a tough situation to be in and it killed her enthusiasm for volleyball. She quit soon after.

 

I have two nephews and niece who are very good athletes. (I have more nieces and nephews, but these are the three relevant to the thread.)
One nephew stopped other sports at a very young age and played soccer year-round. It was his choice.
By eighth grade, he was sick of soccer. He stopped playing, didn't play soccer in HS, ran cross country and track instead.
He is now out of college and still loves distance running, does triathlons, marathons, etc.
The younger brother chose to focus on hockey at a very young age, loved it and stuck with it.
Scholarship hockey player starting college this year.
The sister was a three-sport standout in HS, soccer, basketball and track. She got a scholarship to play soccer in college. She's a junior this year and loves playing at her small college.


Each kid is different and responds differently. In each case, it was the kid's choice to focus on one sport or play multiple sports.

 

The one-sport specialty is drilled in many places, but at my high school, we welcome students to try other things. It does several things: Competition in our off season, Gets you to socialize with another group of athletes away from the football team (sport that I coach), keeps your grades up and keeps in you in shape (many kids don't show uup for off-season workouts)

 

My 11-year-old daughter was fortunate enough to have an option this summer: travel lite, where it was only $200, and basically the season was three tournaments in the neighboring suburbs in the month of July. My daughter, for what it's worth, had been an all-star in house league every year but this year (injured her knee playing basketball and ended up missing all practice time before the season started), and I was feeling a little pressure as to whether she should do travel ball, because she had said she wants to play in high school.

As it turned out, a month of this was enough to let her know she likes the game, but right now does not want to play it every day. It also confirmed my suspicions that I would hate to be a travel parent. The other parents on the team were nice enough, but I didn't want to see them every day. I'm sure the feeling was mutual.

This doesn't mean my daughter is quitting softball. She wants to keep playing house league. And it's possible she could still play high school ball if she so desired. Her coach has a daughter who didn't play travel ball until AFTER she made her high school team. It helped that she was a catcher, and that half the girls she knew who played travel ball burned out or were injured by 14.

Exmedia, resist the pressure to rush your child into travel ball. Also, resist your plan for 600 pitches a day or whatever. First, he's 8 -- YouTube is full of supposed "GREATEST 8-YEAR-OLD EVER" videos of players who'll quit by 15. Second, if he really wants to do something, he'll bug you over and over about it. I know, because my 11-year-old really, really, really wants to do horseback riding again. Believe me, if your kid is 6-foot-6 and athletic, he can skip travel ball entirely, and coaches will seek him out. That's the big fallacy of travel ball -- that it's enough to compensate against a kid who is bigger, stronger and better than you athletically.

 

Travel-team sports, of course, kill the 3-sport athlete.

Most (almost all) travel team coaches I have EVER met:

1) strongly urge/order players not to participate in other sports

2) Ridicule kids who do, for "not being committed enough"

3) Punitively punish any kid who misses ANY sort of team function due to involvement in other sports. Kids blow off practices, games, etc for family vacations, doctors appointment, mom going to a movie, and it's ok, but if they are participating in other sports, they lose PT or starting positions, etc etc

4) Intentionally load up/rearrange the schedule so it conflicts with as many other sports as possible, and demand that the kid attend only HIS sport.


Most travel-team coaches aren't even apologetic about it. "I don't want kids playing three sports," one told me. "I want them playing MY sport."