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Advice on dealing with other sports parents

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Volleyball1971, Jan 13, 2019.

  1. Volleyball1971

    Volleyball1971 New Member

    My daughter is on a 12 U club volleyball team. Last year she was on a different club team that was much less intense and less expensive. She decided this year she wanted to try out for a “bigger” club and she made the lower team. After the practice season started the club moved her up to the National Team which is just the next level up. She can serve pretty good and she is fairly tall for her age. OMG these parents are NUTS... I wish we would have stayed at our little no name club from last year for 1/2 the price with nice parents. HELP! These parents think their kids are going to the Olympics.... my kid is an only child and just wants to have fun and make friends and is trying to make the Middleschool volleyball team next year... and we were told you have to play club to make the middleschool team. Any advice would be great. The season just started and the drama is intense.
  2. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    I'm not sure this group is the best to offer advice on this, but I could be wrong. My advice would be to go back to your old club. Having fun is most important. Sounds like you enjoyed it there and don't enjoy it here.
  3. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    If your daughter is enjoying it, you'll just have to suck it up.

    Look for some of @doctorquant's old posts; I think he has some good ones about club volleyball.
    Volleyball1971 likes this.
  4. cyclingwriter2

    cyclingwriter2 Well-Known Member

    Follow your daughter’s lead on this. My daughter was invited to played varsity tennis as an eighth grader last year. I was very proud of her since she has worked very hard at the sport the past few years. After a few weeks of summer practice, she said she was unhappy. She was the smallest and the youngest player and not enjoying it. She asked to play a another of year club singles. I agreed. Some of her friends were shocked that I let my daughter do this aka ruin her chance at a college scholarship. My reply and advice is her playing a sport is about her happiness. Nothing else.
    Volleyball1971 likes this.
  5. Slacker

    Slacker Well-Known Member

    This should be a read-and-sign for every parent putting a kid into sports.
    Iron_chet and Volleyball1971 like this.
  6. Starman

    Starman Well-Known Member

    Oh, my.
  7. DanOregon

    DanOregon Well-Known Member

  8. Volleyball1971

    Volleyball1971 New Member

    Thanks so much.... the drama with the parents is very intense and it has lead into some drama with the kids. I did talk with the coach after my daughter went to her about a particular situation with kids making fun of another player after a scrimmage last week. The kids were making fun of the other player after the scrimmage and it was over heard by my daughter who told them to stop and these kids on my daughters team basically told my daughter snitches get stitches so you better not tell the coach what we said and of course my daughter promptly walked to the coach and told her what was going on because they had “ threatened” her so of course this has caused some more drama and now a big parent meeting has been called this week with the head of my daughters club. I’ve just as a parent never deal with this kind thing before and because of our experience last year am wondering is this how things are with bigger club sports? My attitude is I’m not worried about a college scholarship but these parents already are. Very competitive both with the kids and parents. I will say I hope after the meeting this week everything calms down and the parents calm down, the kids calm down and my kid is happy and I’ll just sit in the corner of the gym away from the drama. It’s very stressful.
    cyclingwriter2 likes this.
  9. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Well, based on just your side of the story, I'd get as far away from that shit as I could. Maybe I'm wuss or something but I don't want my kids "bonding" with kids who tell teammates "snitches get stitches."

    It's a fucking game.
    Volleyball1971 likes this.
  10. Volleyball1971

    Volleyball1971 New Member

    Thank you for saying that because my husband and I feel like we are from another planet when we are around these parents. It’s shocking and the amount of money we are spending for this nonsense is starting to tick me off. Again, I hope for resolution on Tuesday at the parent meeting. What I have realized is apples don’t fall far from trees.... the crappy parents are also the ones with the crappy kids.
  11. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

    My view (I have a 19 yr old college So. and a HS Senior) is that ultimately the teenage stars are not going to be the 12 yr stars; there's a growth variable, late bloomers who can physically dominate later. Looking back, I wish I emphasized the fun of life even more to my boys. They were never intense about sports but I wrongly thought it was about being the best you can be and forgetting about the fun of life. My 19yr old now is a fantastic river kayaker and outdoor rockclimber, I never would have pictured that when he was 12, and he's found his true passions which is great to see.
    Volleyball1971 likes this.
  12. Volleyball1971

    Volleyball1971 New Member

    Thank you. I need positive feedback.
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