Advice on an awkward situation

Thank you, JD. There's much reading to be done between that line.

 

I took it at face value.*

I could be wrong.







* except I am pretty sure he asked for her cell phone number, not her cell phone

 

Part of me agrees with that. Face value.

I guess a question is: How many girls have you hit on/flirted with, then asked for her number, and she gave it to you if she wasn't interested? Girls let you know right away they're not interested.

Tying it back to your "face value" suggestion ... she's gotta not be so squishy and do things just because she wants a situation to go away. Live and learn.

 

Sorry - but a source for what? Its semi-pro football. Once a year you see a story about semi-pro football and it always about regular guys playing the game they love while holding down full-time jobs elsewhere.

This is just silly.

Some would suggest the equivalent of the following, "Hey I know you want to ask me out but because I write stories about your semi-pro team once every blue moon we can't see each other right now. Those two paragraphs twice a year are very valuable and I'd hate to be compromised ethically when writing them. What I'd suggest is both of us taking very cold showers for months or years until either I move on from this paper or you no longer play for the team. The we can maybe have dinner and take things slow. I hope you don't think this is too much to ask. Why are you looking at me that way?"

 

I agree with the last part, Songbird.

As for the other, sometimes a situation like that -- when it happens for the first time -- can be confusing and disorienting. If there is sudden embarrassment, you'd do anything to put an end to the moment and live to regroup later. Later, of course, there can be regret about the hasty, reflexive thing you did to end the situation.

The analogy you made about normal flirting and girls who don't give our their number if they're not interested is not a good one unless you are talking about a similarly professional context. Apples and oranges, in my opinion.

 

It didn't sound to me like she needed a cold shower, Chris.

 

You have a point, JD. So I'll pare this down to my truest point, and I hope the originator doesn't get offended: Don't be squishy. You giving your phone number out to that player unfolded into a scene where he told the rest of the players and now all they think is how ... well, you get the point. You're a hoochie in that team's eyes, and even if you don't go out with him, he'll tell the rest of the team you did and that you gave it up. Is that the reputation you want?

That's what happens when you get squishy and do something you don't want to do to avoid a situation.

 

Whoa. I think that's a hell of a jump. A.) I don't know many semi-pro teams "hang out together" and talk about the girls and B.) It's a far jump from 'here's my number' to 'that guy's telling everyone he's sleeping with you.

And it's one you have no basis in saying.

 

IJAG, with all due respect, don't be so naive -- and I know you aren't; we've had many PM chats -- to think the guy didn't tell some of his teammates that he got her number. That's all it takes for the locker room mentality to begin. Guys are guys, and that's how we are. I'm sure that generalization will spark some fellas here to fire back and say how much of a righteous man they are and would never go talking about getting a girl's number. And there are, indeed, righteous fellas out there like that.

But I'm sticking to my gut on this one that said player, who wants to "talk talk" to this female reporter, then got her number, went back and told some of his buddies on the team. It's a macho thing. Don't ever forget that. And yes, that's going to make this naive, squishy reporter "easy" in other players' minds because now they're thinking, "Cool, maybe I'll ask her out after Johnny's done sticking her."

 

I swear it's not me.

 

Funny, JD. Shoulda used Boots as the example.

Anyway, perception is reality in so many situations.

 

men are scum. never give someone your cell no., unless you're seeking them for an interview. you ask for their number, never the other way around.

chalk it up as a valuable lesson.