Advice on an awkward situation

No offense, Chris, but in this business, a woman can't date someone who might be a source. Period. Look at how the mere rumor of that sets tongues wagging and names flying on this board.

Plus I get the feeling from Kytra that she doesn't really want to date to man.

 

No, but thanks for playing.

And by "moved on" I did mean after he leaves the team or she leaves the paper.

We have had numerous examples of women who have crossed that line, in some cases years ago, and are still crucified by people on this board. This board is an extension of the industry. It may not be fair, but it is what happens.

 

Heck, a guy can't date someone who might be a source. It's a no-no for both men and women.

 

Excellent point. But from the gossip vulture perspective, it's the double standard: if a girl does it, she's a - ahem - "hockey slut". If a guy were to date a female athlete/source, there would be many who would consider him a stud.

 

Trust me, Cadet, I understand that. But just speaking as one professional to another, I wouldn't advise anyone follow through on a scenario like this.

 

I was agreeing with you and adding another thought. You're 100% right that no journalist should get involved with a source or potential source, especially romantically.

 

This is a semi-pro team and you're not the regular beat writer. I say go for it if you want to. It's not like you're covering the Dolphins and Joey Harrington asks for your number.
I live in an area where semi-pro football is pretty popular. These are guys who have full-time jobs and are doing this for the fun of it. Would your responses be the same if she was covering an amateur golf tournament? Or a rec-league championship at the Y?
Maybe I'm misreading the situation, but I do feel that we, at times, like to make these things seem bigger than they really are.

 

couldn't agree more

if you dig the guy, go out with him

if I didn't go out with people I met on the job in my early 20s I would have been very lonely. I think the ethical ramifications of dating somebody playing in what's essentially a recreational football league when you're not even the beat writer are minimal

don't worry about it.

 

It's semi-pro football. This is not a coach at the high school, or a player at the local university. It's freakin' semi-pro. If you want to chat him up, chat him up.

 

Follow your bliss? I didn't see any evidence of bliss in Kytra's post.

The women who posted here are right. It's early in your professional life, and you have to be careful about the choices you make. Early impressions last a long time with people who will be looking at your resume and calling your references.

I know a professor who fell for one of his students, and she for him. He explained (after she initiated the conversation) that he couldn't date a student, that they'd have to at least wait until she was no longer in his class -- and not likely to take another -- to consider dating. The anticipation heightened their interest and, well, bliss.

This isn't life-and-death stuff, but be careful. Your reputation takes a lifetime to build and one bad decision to wreck.

 

She also gave the player her number, which suggests the possibility she likes the player.

Girls who aren't interested in a guy will give a fake number or just say she's not interested. A girl like the originator of this thread isn't so naive that she would just give her number out to avoid a scene.

My question is: Did she give her number out because she was a scared little puppy, or because she had the hots for the player?

I guess another piece of advice is: As a woman you're going to get hit on a lot in this business -- hell, not always by guys. Learn to handle these situations better.