Advice Needed re: bullying

QT, if your son has been doing martial arts that long he should be able to land a decent punch or kick. Tell him he has free reign to do it when he gets bullied and I bet the bullying stops.

FWIW I thought Tae Kwan Do was one of the more "violent" martial arts and focused more on striking than poses. I seem to recall some conversation around this when it was included in the Olympics.

 

Thanks, believe you me, that's what I've been emphasizing and I think he let loose with a couple of kicks last night so that was encouraging.

The TKD does have sparing, the same that is in the Olympics, and my boys have done some tournaments but they are not trained like the Karate Kid villan's studio to just drill people (wish they kinda were). Their studio is more on form rather than sparing.

 

So he's going to kick the kid? That will make it worse as opposed to better. It's a neanderthal approach in this day and age.

If you really want to help your kid you need to figure out why he has been bullied for the past 6 years. If you don't know the answer to that question one kick will not solve the problem.

 

I'm sorry but I respectfully disagree; the fundamental premise is that he needs to defend himself. You may think that the only way to do so is by squaring up like Ali but in my eyes it needs to be by any means necessary (well not with guns or knives).

I know why he's been picked on, because he's an idealist who thinks that if he's nice to everyone everyone will show him the same respect. Well guess what? Life isn't that way and when you don't call someone on it what happens? It happens again. Sorry but the passive, turn the other cheek way does not work. He's tried it. If you're throwing out neanderthal, bullying is the neanderthal behavior isn't it? Go boxing but not martial arts? That's neanderthal as well if you ask me. The days of "calling out someone behind the school and then thinking kicking is a sissy act" are over.

FWIW, my partner just said if it was someone else's kid what would I do? Yeah I should give my son the same consideration.

 

The sad truth is that making our children bullyproof is not really a realistic goal.

I think that what we try to do is to make picking on our children less entertaining and more risky for a bully, so that he or she will move on to the next kid down the line.

 

Has you kid been hit by these other kids or just verbally abused?

Let's take the worse case scenario. Your kid executes a perfect kick and the other kid falls, hits his head on a rock and goes into a coma.
What do you do then?

Perhaps this article might give you pause:

http://themomblog.ocregister.com/2012/04/03/8-and-9-year-old-bullies-arrested-does-the-punishment-fit-the-crime/85914/

It's hard to believe that your kid is being bullied for being an "idealist" but if so, maybe he'll be President some day.

 

Here's an even better one that involves kicking:

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2011/12/02/7-year-old-accused-of-possible-sexual-harassment-for-kicking-boy-in-groin/

 

Boom, honestly can't tell if you are being facetious or not but I still really think you are off base. I am also not sure if you are a parent but most of the parents I know would run the risk of the one in a million scenarios you posted rather than have their child be a life time victim.

Bullies pick on someone because of perceived or real weakness. Being an idealist is absolutely a reason someone could get picked on as it is a nerdy differentiator, some kids get picked on for a lot less.

 

It's not a solution unless Q figures out why his son is being bullied beyond just being an "idealist". Is he being bullied at school also ? There are very strict laws now that schools take very seriously and have to act on.
I coached youth sports for 15 years and feel that it has given me great insight into all kinds of kids and their parents. I also found that you can create a harmonious team environment where all kids will be accepted, but what you can't control is what happens when they leave the field.Kids will be kids and parents will be parents. There are a lot of pricks out there.

Obviously Q loves his kid and hates to see him sad. While a karate kick may seem like an expedient solution, in the end he will win the battle and lose the war.

Just spit ballin here but Q strikes me as one of those hapless well intentioned volunteer assistant coaches that really is just there as a glorified body guard for his kid. It never works. Maybe the other players see this also.

 

Unfortunately, chet, it's a different world than we grew up in. Such things have to be considered.

At one time, you didn't have to worry about getting sued if you break someone's ribs while saving their life with the Heimlich. Times have changed.

 

You need to face up to the problem a lot harder than that.

 

Heel of the hand to the nose. Hard. Then, while the bully is leaking and freaking, ask the others who's next. There will be no takers. End of problem.