Advice Needed re: bullying

Then limit his time it that situation and instead of using "physical defense" have him walk away.

I'm curious. Does your kid have ADD by any chance?

 

Nah he's the oldest.

I don't think walking away works. You just get picked on again.

 

Disagree but it sounds like you have all the answers. Good luck.

 

Then I would probably catch him alone, shove my finger in his chest and say something that starts with ”Listen here you little punk!” But I think that would not bee the best idea.

 

As someone who took karate from a very early age, there is a lot to be said for him showing that he is someone who should not be fucked with.

One fight today might prevent others later.

I know it sounds terrible, but most kids are scared to fight. They're a lot less likely to pick on a kid who they think might pop them one if they do.

 

The main kid who picked on me in Little League, a kid named Randy Ruth, continued into my first few weeks of seventh grade. One day, he started pushing me while we were walking back to class from a school assembly. I finally had had enough and slammed him against the locker. A teacher behind us pulled both of us aside, read us the riot act, and I got detention.

A week later, I'm in the locker room suiting up for my first football practice. Randy Ruth comes over from the eighth-grade part of the room and offers to help me with my shoulder pads.

And, qt, I'm not saying not to use the martial arts. I guess I was thinking just what you said he wasn't doing ... posing and threatening to use it.

 

If the manager is with you on this, have him pay close attention in pregame warmups the next time. They are probably doing it to other kids. But even if they aren't, even if it's only your son, if the manager sees it live and comes down on them based on his own observation (and not based on what the other kids would see as "tattling"), he's going to have authority to talk to at least whatever kid starts in with it. Maybe even sit him down for the first inning, and when Dad walks over fuming and wondering what the hell is going on, tell him the kid has an attitude problem and is picking on others.

 

I was always the smallest kid (and picked on) in my group, mostly because all the kids in my neighborhood were 1-3 years older than me.

Anyway, you cannot get directly involved. It'll just give the bullies a real reason to pick on your son, other than being a weird little jacket wearer (their thoughts) - "Go run to daddy, pussy!" And even having the coach chew out a kid, and turn it into "You're a team, support each other" will fall on deaf ears I fear, though I guess it's worth a shot.

Your best bet, in my opinion, is to tell your boy he has your permission to whoop some ass if they start picking on him. Then sign up him for boxing. Karate is for skinny kids who don't ever want to fight and just want to feel like, in an absolute worst-case scenario, hopefully the bully won't completely kill me.

Boxing teaches a kid to truly stand up for himself, even develop a bit of swagger, because it teaches him 2 things: 1) Getting punched doesn't hurt that bad at that age. You will survive. And you can stand up and give one right back, and chances are whoever hit you won't like getting hit back and won't have your boxing background and the ability to take a punch. 2) It teaches them how to really swing, how to really fight. Going all Ninja Turtles on some bully is fine in theory, but in practice you just look like a tool and you'll probably get beat up anyway. If somebody pushes you around, and you swing on them and lay them the f- out, you won't get messed with again, by him, his friends, or anyone else in school who will eventually (and they all will eventually) hear the story.

 

When I took karate, I was watching the older kids one day and they were messing around with this move that looked like the most simple move ever, you just make a sweeping motion with your hand you take out the other person's legs. It doesn't hurt them, it just embarrasses them and knocks them to the ground.

I did full-contact karate for eight years and there were only two offensive moves I ever used in a fight. One was turning your fist as you punch, the other was the leg sweep move, which became the move I was always asked to demonstrate at college parties. As soon as my kids are a few years older, I'll teach them the move.

 

This times 1000. The ability to throw a good punch can end things very quickly. Bullying a bully is sometimes the only way to end things.

My experience being bullied was somewhat different. I was the biggest kid from a split home so lacked a lot of confidence. The mouthy little kids would pick on me and the older kids my size would pick on me. I

By the time I got too junior high I was not really picked on any more but I know having some confidence earlier in life would have helped greatly.

 

That advantage in this being a team situation is that you or the manager should be able to have some say over playing time.

Hopefully, one of you could tell the team if you find players not supporting their teammates, they will not start the next game and if the parents have an issue with that, they can ask why.

 

That worked in the good old days but in this day and age it's terrible advise. It will turn on Q 's kid and he will get labeled the bully. The other kids parents might even file an assault charge. Teach the kid mental toughness and walk away. And whether in a stance or not the karate thing is goofy and will subject the kid to further teasing.