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Advice for newlyweds

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Bump_Wills, Jun 5, 2008.

  1. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    Learn about compromise. They're not perfect, but you're sure as hell not perfect either.
     
  2. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    One piece of advice I've always remembered is to never go to bed mad at each other.

    Of course, you could go to bed happy, then get mad because you're not getting any. Not saying that ever happens. In fact, I deny even writing that sentence.
     
  3. Smasher_Sloan

    Smasher_Sloan Active Member

    Train yourself to go weeks without sleep.
     
  4. Grimace

    Grimace Guest

    Prenup!
     
  5. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    When you gonna put a ring on that hot babe of yours, dammit? I want to be invited to the wedding!

    (I'm bringing Elliotte as my date)
     
  6. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    You make me sound like I'm anti-marriage.
    (Not that you would be completely inaccurate.)
     
  7. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    I apologize if I misspoke then, you anti-marriageite.
     
  8. Bob Cook

    Bob Cook Active Member

    Bump, if you don't mind my asking, why did they request this? My married-guy advice to them is that soliciting advice on being married is one of the most collossally stupid ways I could think of to start a marriage, not the least of reasons being all the fine china you will deprive yourself. Seriously, they're going to get a lot of advice, whether they ask for it or not. Most of it will be well-intentioned and wrongheaded.

    However, for great, squirmy unintentional comedy, take a moment to read aloud said advice at the reception, and add snarky comments about the marital fuckups of the person giving it. Guaranteed, this is one wedding no one will ever forget!
     
  9. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    Good point Bob...in lieu of tangible wedding gifts? This is the one chance you get to stock your kitchen cabinets and linen closet, the one time you can go through Target or a department store with those little gift-registry scanners and rack up five pages of crap without looking like a glutton (presuming you don't put flatscreen TVs and iPods on there). I don't think a day passes without me using something I got as a wedding gift.
     
  10. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    JERRY: So you won't believe what happened with Whatley today. It got back to hime that I made this little dentist joke and he got all offended. Those people can be so touchy.

    KRAMER: Those people, listen to yourself.

    JERRY: What?

    KRAMER: You think that dentists are so different from me and you? They came to this country just like everybody else, in search of a dream.

    JERRY: Kramer, he's just a dentist.

    KRAMER: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.

    JERRY: I am not an anti-dentite!

    KRAMER: You're a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. "Hey, denty!" Next thing you know you're saying they should have their own schools.

    JERRY: They do have their own schools!

    KRAMER: Yeah!
     
  11. The biological clock makes this difficult for some folks.

    Just sayin'.
     
  12. Smasher_Sloan

    Smasher_Sloan Active Member


    Larry King.
     
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