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Add my paper to the carnage

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by crusoes, Apr 2, 2009.

  1. crusoes

    crusoes Active Member

    Gallows humor is the best kind.
     
  2. StaggerLee

    StaggerLee Well-Known Member

    Wait, did I say Jerry Gallow? No, Jerry Gallow is dead. I'm Jerry Callow.

    Sorry, that word gallows sends me into My Cousin Vinny mode.
     
  3. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    Tom Ridge: Good evening. I'm Tom Ridge. Nearly six months ago, President Bush asked me to organize and lead a new federal agency, the Office of Homeland Security. Since that time, many of you have probably wondered just what this agency has been up to and what, if anything, we are doing to prevent terrorist attacks within our borders.

    Tonight, I'm proud to unveil my agency's new weapon in the War on Terror: the Homeland Security advisory system. It's a simple five level system, which uses color codes to indicate varying levels of terrorist threat. The lowest level of threat is condition OFF-WHITE, followed by CREAM, PUTTY, BONE and finally NATURAL. It is essential that every American learns to recognize and distinguish these colors. Failure to do so could cost you your life. For those who may have questions, an excellent guide will be found on page 74 of the spring J. Crew catalogue.

    Now, what precisely do these threat levels indicate? Condition OFF-WHITE, the lowest level, indicates a huge risk of terrorist attack. Next highest, condition CREAM: an immense risk of terrorist attack. Condition PUTTY: an enormous risk of terrorist attack. Condition BONE: a gigantic risk of terrorist attack. And finally, the most serious, condition NATURAL: an enormous risk of terrorist attack. "
     
  4. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Hang in there, brother...
     
  5. crusoes

    crusoes Active Member

    It'll all work out. But thanks!
     
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