Adaptation to COVID world

I live across the street from our local temple, which has a large preschool and kindergarten program. Every hour a different age group is conducting a drive through “graduation” in the parking lot and they are encouraging all of the drivers to honk their horns in celebration. I’m on the verge of throwing a fit.

 

I GOT A HAIRCUT!!!!!

 

FTFY

 

Sigh. Six more grandmothers doomed.

Ditto.

 

Last night I had night terrors and woke up screaming myself hoarse. Good lord. I had sleep paralysis and night terrors in my teens and twenties. An ex-boyfriend at the time started a rumor that I was a bedwetter because there were no sleepover parties. I should have let him stay with me at least once to see why.

I'm pretty sure this is borne of the state of things beyond my property line. Well, that and my nephew and his wife, both of whom I love dearly, flew in this past Saturday to attend the funeral of one of his high school-era buddies. He did not let us now he was coming back to Tennessee. The first we knew of it, I was filling one of the feeders in the front yard when he and his wife pulled up, he got out of the car, ran up and gave me a big hug.

I talked to Nephew and Niece-in-Law for a few minutes. She was trying to socially distance and yet keep things as normal as possible. Past experience has told me she's the voice of reason of the two. (Ex. They lived in Florida for a long time. He thinks nothing of ignoring evacuation orders. Her: I'm packing. See you in a week. I hope.)

I told him to knock on the door and tell his grandmother he's here. He ran inside, surprised my mother from behind, and gave her a big hug. NIL and I tried to stop him. They visited for a bit but I can tell things were strained where my mother was concerned. NIL and I talked bout sheltering in place and precautions. It flew right by nephew.

When they were leaving, he told me he was going to the funeral that day and then to visit his great-grandmother. I didn't say anything at that moment, but I later texted that he needed to call her first. She's 97 and on the fragile side. He agreed and then we didn't hear anything else from him.

In the meantime, my mother waved bye, closed the door, stripped down on the way to the bathroom, and gave herself a homemade Silkwood shower. She demanded I do the same thing after she was done. The next four (EDIT: I lost track. Today is Wednesday.) days were a series of me trying to calm episodes of weepy fantods because she had done everything right and now she has COVID and apologies from him via text.

Oh, Jaysus.

I sacked up and told him we were very worried about him and NIL flying halfway across the country, attending a funeral in one of the reddest counties in the state, and flying back. I also said we would talk about ways he could stay connected safely. I suspect he got a similar talk from Mrs. Nephew.

The coda: They seem to be okay so far. I received a voicemail that was nothing but fifteen seconds of coughing from an unidentified number* and Mom had her first nonweepy morning today.

This is going to drive me to the kind of batshit precious affected Donnie Darkoesque artwork I saw my classmates do at CCAC, I just know it.

*Probably from the cousin who is part of the East Tennessee Trumpist Cabal. She, my grandmother, and my brother hired a lawyer to send me a letter saying I was no longer family and any and all contact with the (Insert Legal Surname Here) was not only unwelcome, it was forbidden and legally actionable. So they must have been unhappy that I told N and NIL to call before paying a visit.

This is why White Gloves and Party Manners alums go bad and develop the grace and verbal tics of lot lizards.

I might be suitably embarrassed and delete this later. Ahduno...

 

Because you were taking Covid seriously?

 

They're no doubt unhappy about that because it hurts Presnint Tromp, who is practically a family member as far as they're concerned.

The legal stuff dates back a few years. It's classic Southern Gothic nonsense with some of the lead roles played by textbook malignant narcissists.

 

I'm shocked.

Just got the call that local Parks and Rec is opening up fall football registration as of Monday. Until we're on the practice field, I'm still skeptical ...

 

Dear god, that is one of the most ... well, I don't know the adjective ... posts I've ever read. Just, wow.

 

I was getting it off my chest. To me, it's dark and funny. If it upsets people, I will be okay with deleting it.

 

It doesn't upset me at all. I've just never read anything like that on SJ.

There's plenty of Redneck Gothic in my family.

 

You can't delete this if for no other reason then the world will lose this line for eternity: This is why White Gloves and Party Manners alums go bad and develop the grace and verbal tics of lot lizards.

In fact, I bet I'm speaking for many when I ask, beg and plead for more about this: *Probably from the cousin who is part of the East Tennessee Trumpist Cabal. She, my grandmother, and my brother hired a lawyer to send me a letter saying I was no longer family and any and all contact with the (Insert Legal Surname Here) was not only unwelcome, it was forbidden and legally actionable. So they must have been unhappy that I told N and NIL to call before paying a visit.