A man named ...

"The [New York] Times has been expanding its roster of newsletters in recent months, said Dork Alahydoian, the paper’s executive director of product. The paper has launched more than a dozen within the last year, and newsletters now collectively rank among the top five sources for referral traffic, above Pinterest. ..." ( Inside The New York Times’ newsletter strategy | Poynter. )

That's not a typo; that's his name. I admit it's childish to find humor in someone's name, but I shot Coke Zero out of my nose when I read it.

I'm just picturing a board meeting where some guy in a three-piece suit says, "Those are encouraging numbers, Dork. Great idea, Dork. I'll let Dork decide how to allocate those resources. What's your forecast for fiscal year 2016, Dork? Well done, Dork."

 

Dork's sister, Douche, got a bad deal, too.

 

"It's Doo-CHAY!"

 

So which one is he?

 

He should meet that hockey player named Fuck.

 

Does this thread count as an outing of OOP?

 

"You know, I'm getting pretty G-- D--- tired of hearing those remarks."

Seriously. When you have a gaze that steely, you can pretty much call yourself anything you want.

 

Dork and Dorcas

 

Dorkus Amongus

 

He has a wife, you know ...