A full-bodied, trailer-trash train wreck... and I can't look away

Yesterday afternoon, Mrs. Birdscribe gave HGTV a break and stumbled on the first season of one of the most hilarious train wrecks reality shows I've seen in quite some time.

The show is "American Princess", season two of which began tonight on WE.

The premise is My Fair Lady meets Pretty Woman: take 12 generally clueless American women, stuff British society down their throats to make "ladies" out of them and watch the fun ensue. The winner gets $50,000, a diamond necklace and an actual title (Lady XXX of Snakesnavelia or something like that) I'm sure the producers bought from Town and Country Magazine.

This season's crew is particularly ripe for ridicule: a Puerto Rican from the Bronx, this horse-mouthed, angular obnoxious golddigger from Sarasota and this 5-11 former Army sergeant who likes strutting around in hooker garb. "If I was gay, I'd be into me," was one of her pithier comments.

Hilarity is ensuing as I type this.

 

For those that don't have WE and want to see the "ladies"...

http://americanprincess.wetv.com/#contestants

 

If the pictures of the women in question are any indication, I would pay possibly $20 or more to watch Kirsten eat an apple.

 

My money is going to have to be on Danielle, she is a model after all.

 

I want to see the rest of the season of Beauty and the Geek; now that's a great show in anthropology.

Still the best moment from the only episode I saw before they 86'd it:

Geek: "would you say you're a red state or a blue state?"
Beauty: "well, i'm from california, so i'm a golden state!"
Geek, rolling his eyes: "i'm definitely not choosing her."

 

We watched the first season of "AP" all the way through on WE yesterday afternoon while folding clothes. I heard that show was taped in 2003 and it was supposed to air on NBC, but for whatever reason (common sense, perhaps?), it was 86ed and relegated to one of NBC-Universal's cable backwaters.

The girls on that season seemed to all get along and actually care when one of them would get eliminated. This season, it's Catfight City.

There are a few assorted folks around to help things along: Catherine Oxenberg, Paul Burrell (Princess Di's butler), being the most prominent.