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A friend's dilemma inspires this...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by printdust, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. I don't agree that you never know. I'm saying, I wouldn't let it get to the point where I cheated on my wife. If I really just didn't love her anymore and had to be with someone else, I would file for divorce.
    Obviously I hope that never happens and I doubt it will, but I know I won't allow myself to cheat on her.
     
  2. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    My man Winger sums it up just right. Honesty is a good thing, yes, and relationships do require honesty. But sometimes the whole "you have to tell your spouse or the guilt will eat you alive!" stuff is more for talk shows than actual real life. It might not be cool to admit it, but if he wants to reconcile this relationship, your homeboy should bury this one with a shovel and then bury the shovel.
     
  3. PCLoadLetter

    PCLoadLetter Well-Known Member

    Sounds to me like they're both married to dipshits.
     
  4. printdust

    printdust New Member

    Well, from what I know and I'm treading on thin ice...he's not a journalist and doesn't read this (I hope), she has some mental health issues and won't get those addressed. It drives him batty sometimes to the point of being helpless and exasperated; the friend was someone he confided in from time to time and I know someone else when I was growing up whose mom fell into this and the dad just couldn't handle it. He had a mistress. The wife was out of her mind, didn't know him half the time, a bi-polar kind of thing. His daughter, about my age at the time (17) understood her father's frustraiton - it was not a life but he felt obligated to take care of her. This is similar but not that extreme. But I can empathize with both situations. It doesn't take a dipshit to fall into one of those dilemmas. Judge not, you know? What's better, being a Donald Trump and trading wives like stocks or this type with an attempted reconciliation? Hell, just because someone cheats doesn't mean they should fly right into divorce court. Cheating is often an effect of a cause...you deal with the cause (which can cut both ways) and the effect doesn't occur.
     
  5. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    first and foremost: your boy didn't cheat. the bitch told him she was leaving for good. he was single in my book.
     
  6. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    Heck, JD kissed Carla and Turk forgave them.
     
  7. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    turk is a type B personality.
     
  8. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    They were on a BREAK!
     
  9. FileNotFound

    FileNotFound Well-Known Member

    I've been on the other end of this situation. She was honest and told me everything. Ultimately, I think I'd rather not have known. In our case, there wasn't much chance I would have found out from another source. Doesn't matter; we're still married and all is now well. Shit happens.

    Everybody case is different, however.

    I DON'T think what your friend did was a fatal error, by any means. My fear is that he would be telling her to make HIMSELF feel better, not to do anything that would help their relationship. Best thing they can both do is forget that night entirely and move on.
     
  10. Big Buckin' agate_monkey

    Big Buckin' agate_monkey Active Member

    How do you deal with knowing the truth, if you don't mind me asking?
     
  11. The fatal error is there's no trust in the relationship. She just admitted to lying about a bunch of stuff and now he goes and does this. The best thing for him to do would tell her about it. That way they both have marks against them and are on equal ground.
     
  12. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    This is the only reasonable way to handle this. I get the impression some of the knuckleheads would think I should go home and tell my wife every time my eyes linger a nano second too long at an attractive woman.

    Why would you inflict pain on your wife like that? Is she going to feel better that you told her you wound up in a sweaty heap with some acquaintance? Do you really think it will be cathartic? A marriage-rejuvenating experience?

    The answer is no. You suck it up and live with it on your conscience.
     
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