A Dying Parent, Forgiving, Forgetting -- FINAL UPDATE

Re: A Dying Parent, Forgiving, Forgetting -- UPDATE

Christ, does that sound familiar. My mom went into the hospital on the 13th...I'd already been in town for days (by pure coincidence, none of us knew the end was near) and spent the night at my parents' house. My sister calls me the next morning, says to bring Mom's IV food down to the hospital. Ten minutes later she calls, crying, and tells me to forget the food and just get down there ASAP.

So sorry to hear this news, Matt, and I hope you are able to provide and receive comfort once you get to town.

 

Re: A Dying Parent, Forgiving, Forgetting -- UPDATE

good luck and godspeed, matt. drive safely.

 

Re: A Dying Parent, Forgiving, Forgetting -- UPDATE

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, matt.

 

Re: A Dying Parent, Forgiving, Forgetting -- UPDATE

My thoughts are with you on this day of taking care of parents.

I just took my father to the hospital for surgery. Thankfully, it's gynecomastia and not cancer, but he still has to have a mass removed nonetheless. I sat with him for a while and made some Jello so he can have something to eat when he's ready. I'll also make chicken broth for him when it's time.

When we got to the hospital, I made a comment that the roles were reversed, and the intake person said "you were in that chair the last time." It felt surreal sitting next to the hospital bed instead of lying on it, but I liked where I was by comparison.

I wish you and your family well in this difficult hour. My apologies for my maudlin rambling.

 

My father passed away yesterday afternoon in his sleep with my mom by his side, like she has been faithfully for the last 48.5 years. The death was definitely not unexpected and while he wasn't in pain, it also ended the suffering that he was going through and that my mom was going through.

I did get one final visit in the first weekend of May and it was a good thing to do. I was scheduled to go again this weekend coming up, but I knew when I bought the airline ticket that it was a futile effort.

I decided that most things in my case for my circumstances were best left unsaid. I say that only for me and would not give that advice to anyone else. I appreciate everyone's thoughts and opinions on this extremely personal subject. I echo the comments made on this thread that leaving things unsaid is rarely the right decision, but I hope that you will respect mine that I thought there was little good or peace that could come from rehashing old mental injuries.

 

Matt, only you know what was the right choice for you.

Condolences on the loss of your father to you and your mother.

 

Shit. I knew by the updated slug this wouldn't be good.

So damn sorry to read about your loss, Matt. Know that the SJ community is a great one to be a part of at a time like this. Condolences to you and your family and feel free to pop in or send a PM if you ever want to vent or just have an audience.

 

Whatever happened in this world and in this life is done. I do not, cannot believe they carry a grudge into the hereafter, or that we do the same.

 

Peace to you and your family, Matt.

 

r.i.p. to your dad. and live in peace wishes for you, your bro and your mom, matt.

 

You did what was right for you and your father. In the end, that's what matters most.

My condolences to you and your family. May the good days help you through the rough patches.

 

Matt, I'm sorry about your loss. Hang in there.