A Cubs prospect and me tearing a gas hose from its pump

Gassing up the car today, when I have to take a monster piss. Unable to wait for the car to fill, I run into the station.

While on my way out, my sister calls my cell. She says her red, 1995 Buick Skylark had sold -- and the classified ad she put in the paper no longer needed to run.

"I sold it to a guy and his son," she says. "Some 18-year-old kid out here from California. He plays with the (Peoria) Chiefs.

"Josh something"

I return to my car and begin to pull away from the pump, all the while realization sinks in that my sister had just sold her car to Chicago Cubs top prospect Josh Vitters, in town for the summer. We had our own Seinfeldian, John/Jon Voight moment.

And then it happened. A loud thump followed by a metallic dragging prefaces me stopping the car to realize I've pulled the gas hose from the pump and driven away. I went inside to explain what happened and gave my information to the clerk.

Of course, I'd like to blame Josh Vitters. Can't do it. Unless of course it's Josh Viters, the periodontist.

 

You should go to a Chiefs game and get him to bite a pencil. Or your arm. Or both.

 

Damnit, Arnold stole my pencil post. Jerk!

As scatter-brained as I can be, it's the upset of the century I haven't driven off with the gas pump still in my car, especially since I put gas in my car more than most people.

 

Well, I would hope most people aren't just randomly putting gas in your car. That would be weird.

 

It's late, cut me some slack on my bad sentence structure.

 

Now that I think about it, though, it would be awesome if people put gas in your car.

 

I've read about that kind of thing happening in the old days. Could be an urban legend, though.

 

The jerk store called. They ran out of you.

 

Pallister has a similiar story, except it's called "A White Sox prospect and me buying him a can of Pabst."

 

I wish.

 

And I will now step aside and not post the follow-up so that pallister can. I would never steal his post twice in one night.

 

Now that you're ordering me around, I don't want to.