A crisis of conscience

Please, all, bear with me.


I was rushing down Broadway today, in a mad dash to catch a train to a game I'm covering. Walking in, around and past the midday crowd, moving in-and-out, spinning and accelerating like Barry Sanders. I was one of a million aggravated New Yorkers, needing to get somewhere in a hurry.

Then a guy asked, "Can you spare some change?"

A man. Forties. Fifties. It's irrelevant. There a gaps where teeth used to be; the few he had remaining in his mouth were yellow. It wouldn't be right to call what he wore clothes. Tatters, rags, are more fitting names for what he had on.

The man extended an empty cup, save for some liquid in the bottom. I looked at him and he said, "Anything you can, I just want to get something to eat."

I dug into my pocket and gave him all the spare change I had:

A quarter.

He thanked me profusely and I was on my way. And then, a feeling came over me. Disgust.

Not at him, mind you. At myself.

What, exactly, is that guy going to do with a quarter. Buy a third of a can of soda? Ooh, maybe he can get a fourth of a McDonald's Dollar Menu hamburger. He's only 74 cents away from getting something from Wendy's.

What kind of person am I? A quarter? Is that the best I could have done? Am I really as big of a disgrace to humanity as I think I am?

 

You gave what you had. Most people didn't make the effort... stop kicking yourself.

 

You're fine.

 

You should kick yourself for giving him anything.

 

Bingo.

If everybody walking past him gave the guy a quarter, he'd be in pretty good shape.

 

I thought this was going to be a thread on your next door neighbor in your apartment complex who wants to hook up but you don't want to complicate things.

 

Yep, he'd be able to buy that bottle of hooch or dime bag in no time.

 

If he was happy, why are you upset?

 

Ace, you know you're losing cred points by having Elvis in the sidesaddle, right?

 

hokceybeat, you're fine.

And I've personally never understood the idea that somehow, should a panhandler spend your money on booze, that's a bad thing.

The dude's homeless. If he can scrounge enough money together to get fucked up, more power to him.

 

As opposed to his shameless attempt to work at the P-D?

 

Maybe I'm Terry Pluto, biatches.