A conversation I wish didn't happen UPDATE: She's gone.

As some of you know, my mother and I have a non-relationship. I haven't spoken to her in about five years, if not longer.

Until tonight.

She called me tonight and told me that my grandmother's liver shut down. She's been admitted to hospice. She has days left. My other grandmother has Alzheimer's and lives in a retirement community about five minutes away.

If it isn't one thing, it's another.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

Prayers are with you.

Mend fences while you can, if you can.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

Oof, that sucks.

Sorry to hear it, F_Town, and I echo 93D (for once!). Repair your relationship with your Mom, if at all possible.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

Life is too short to hold grudges. Realizing that it takes two to tango, mend the fence if you can.

Good luck.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

Being in a somewhat similar parental situation, I'm not sure if I'll echo the above advice except to say don't have any regrets about how you go forward with your mother -- be at peace with it, and her if possible, no matter what you choose.

And I do hope your grandmother is at peace and out of much pain, as well. Don't hesitate to drop everything and try to see her now, because you might not get another chance.

Sending you and your family good vibes from way out here, F_T ...

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

I don't know the source of your problems with your mother, but this might be a good time to improve them. With her mother sick, she could use some support and may have a change of heart over whatever caused the problems.

Reach out to her. It may pay off in spades.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

Thank you, everyone.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

That's rough news, F-T. I hope for the best for you and your grandmothers.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

let me offer my own unsolicited advice: if at all possible, do whatever you can to mend fences with your mom. there is no downside to it, f-t. she could obviously use you now and thought enough to break the ice by alerting you to your grandmother's condition. let something good come of this.

i can't imagine you regretting it. if the attempt at reconciliation is rejected, well, then it's on her, not you.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

F_T,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, in particular your Grandmother. I hope she is not in pain and that you are able to be with her in her final hours.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

My thoughts are with you, F_T.

I have no idea what the genesis of the rift with your mom is .. but I wanted to share my favorite line from one of my favorite movies: "Only those who forgive earn the right to be forgiven."

All you can do is try to reach out. If it's not meant to be ... then you did your best.

 

Re: A conversation I wish didn't happen

Not meaning to ignore the other posters' advice about your mother, but the acute situation is with your grandmother. If there is anything you want or need to say to her, your focus needs to be there.

Prayers for strength.