56 best/worst analogies of high school students

Saw this link posted on Facebook. Some of these are hilarious.

http://www.losteyeball.com/index.php/2007/06/19/56-worstbest-analogies-of-high-school-students/

 

For IJAG.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

 

"She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword" made me laugh.

 

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

I'm stealing that one.

 

A couple of these are repeats from a thread we had in 2007, which is when this list was posted.

Yet, the list itself is not the same.

It's ironic, like a completely non-ironic Alanis Morissette song.

 

Fabaliss.

 

As long as there are no similes I'm down with this

 

Some of these apparently have been around for quite a while, as they refer to the Clinton impeachment and Rocky and even the 1968 song "McArthur Park."

 

This might be one of the best things of all time.

"The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon."

Now if I could only get my writing to be that descriptive.....

 

Didn't we establish (or at least strongly believe) that most of these are fake? Not that they're not still good for laughs.

 

Oh, they're absolutely fake as hell. No way high school kids came up with these. And some of these are brilliant.

 

This, I firmly believe, was a high school kid. Rarely are people dumber than this:

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Some are definitely not HS age. I've never seen a kid use the word wont in a sentence.