50 Shades of Grey: Not the story of Big Ben's penis

A seedy-looking guy will accompany her there.

 

You will not accompany me. I am not buying "mommy porn" with you standing next to me, looking shifty. NFW.

 

For the sake of the board, she must go alone, to see what tack Freq will take.

 

SALVATION!!

I searched under "50" in iBooks. Not "Fifty."

See you folks tomorrow.

 

This was the most hilarious thing I've read all day. The comment section is also worth it.

 

First, thanks to CB for starting this thread. I was going to do the same and call it '50 Shades of Stupid.'

Without a doubt the most idiotic non-erotic story ever told. There were better sex scenes in Animal House.

My publisher gave me the set so I read it. Took two long plane flights to read the first two books, and a couple hours extra to knock out the third. Here's the whole deal:

Billionaire 27-yr-old into S&M wants to dominate a college grad with sassy mouth. This is his thing because he was an abused child. He spanks her once and she freaks out. He wants her back and also freaks out. They cry. They get engaged. They get married. She discovers she sort of likes butt plugs. Someone is trying to kill them. They have more sex with butt plugs, and sometimes handcuffs. She wonders who cleans the butt plugs. But they're in love so it all works out.

That's it.

 

I'd like to read your set.

 

I don't know about 50 Shades, but 21's post is classic literature.

 

My wife's working on a few nonfiction things associated with 50 Shades so I hope all three books continue to sell hundreds of thousands of copies and continue to capture the imaginations, and loins, of millions.

Haven't read them but know some people who liked them, some who couldn't finish and one friend who "hate read" the first one but did finish.

Who's going to play the main people in the movies? My friend wants Jonathan Rhys Meyers. A woman I work with suggested Jeremy Irons, which could be weird because he's like, old. For the woman?

I'm sure the writing isn't out-of-this world but I bet it's better than the writing for an e-book I recently copyedited. Involved dragons fucking members of the fae. Well, dragons were in human form when they fucked, then turned to dragons to fly around the country.

Anyone ever read Anne Rice's Beauty books (and care to admit it)? Wonder how they compare to 50.

 

Braille style?

 

The boots are where she keeps the butt plugs.
It's symbolic.

 

Thank you! I was waiting for someone to spike the bump and set.