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50 most loathsome people in college football

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by HoopsMcCann, Jan 8, 2007.

  1. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    Hoops, thanks for posting that. I love the political one that comes out every year, and this was good stuff. I really enjoyed this one, though if hondo reads it, I'm sure he'll be by to tell us what a wonderful man Bowden is:

    18. Bobby Bowden

    Charges: Pure bumpkin shystering. If Bowden were a car salesman, he'd be the guy who throws in all kinds of Scotchgarding/extended-warranty charges you don't see until it's time to sign on the dotted line, but grudgingly accept just to get the damn deal over with already. Has won by running one of the slackest, most thugged-out programs in the country, yet somehow skates in the court of public opinion because he's just so old and lovable. Those in the know regard him the way Democrats regarded Ronald Reagan throughout the 1980s: as a devious, scheming rule-bender who fooled everyone into thinking he was just a kindly old granddad through fatuously self-effacing insistences that he had no idea what was going on at any given time.

    Exhibit A: Following the departure of offensive coordinator Mark Richt, he allowed FSU's once-invincible offense to devolve into embarrassing Keystone Koppery solely so that his talentless son Jeff could sustain gainful employment. When the university and fan base could finally stand no more, he blamed "eBay and e-mail and all that junk" for making El Jefe look bad.

    Sentence: Mashed to a pulp and injected into breast implants for FSU's next generation of Cowgirls.
  2. jay_christley

    jay_christley Member

    How is Jim Delaney not No. 1?
    Or even on the list?
    (Or did I miss him?)

    From your Big10 Commish ...
    "The Rose Bowl is the most important external relationship we have. It's more important than the BCS."
    A system that further devalues the Rose Bowl just isn't going to get their support, he said.

    And ...
    Florida's Urban Meyer and Michigan's Lloyd Carr both have publicly thrown their support behind a playoff system, as has USC coach Pete Carroll. Penn State's Joe Paterno has for years said Division I-A needs a playoff.
    "I have tremendous respect for Coach Carr and tremendous respect for Coach Paterno," Delany said. "But at the end of the day I work with them, but I work for university presidents."

    So basically, Delany's position is: Screw the coaches and the fans who want to see a playoff and a true champion decided on the field, I work for the stuffed suits whose biggest concern is raking in the sponsorship/bowl dollars, and I'll be damned if the good of the game is going to get in the way of that.
  3. heyabbott

    heyabbott Well-Known Member

    #4 Mark May
    Charges: In one cranky, sanctimonious package, symbolizes nearly everything currently wrong with the Worldwide Leader in Sports. He is one of several poster children for ESPN's apparent philosophy that combative, self-satisfied pundits are what the American people really want; at the same time, he is a singularly obedient mouthpiece for whichever insufferable storyline the WWL wants to pump at any given moment. Happily straps on the kneepads and polishes the knobs of existing media darlings like USC and Notre Dame; witheringly, smirkingly dismissive of just about everyone else, most glaringly evident in an ignorance of the SEC that rivals even Heismanpundit's. In terms of public approval, makes Trev Alberts look like Ronald Reagan.
    Exhibit A: Variously declared USC, then Texas, then Notre Dame the OMG greatest team EVAR -- in the span of less than one season.
    Sentence: Alberts slices off the top of his head and sautees pieces of his brain like Anthony Hopkins did to Ray Liotta in "Hannibal," then feeds the pieces to Uga VI.

    viciously delicious
  4. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    TOO LOW!!!

    41. Hal Mumme
    Charges: Cringingly, made what appears to be a conscious decision to paddle along in the Ol' Ballcoach's wake, devising a throw-it-all-over-the-field-and-fuck-everything-else "strategy" at Kentucky that he thought would make him the poor man's Steve Spurrier. However, he turned out to be more like the homeless man's Steve Spurrier, pile-driving the Kentucky program into two-win irrelevence (and NCAA purgatory) almost the minute that the real brains of the outfit, offensive coordinator Mike Leach, left for Oklahoma and then Texas Tech. Ridden out of Lexington on a rail, he ended up at Southeastern Louisiana and then New Mexico State, where his first season featured an 0-12 record and accusations that he booted certain players off the team because they were Muslim.
    Exhibit A: With Leach, Mumme went 12-11 at Kentucky and averaged 38.2 points a game; post-Leach, he went 8-15, 25.3 a game.
    Sentence: Smothered by being buried at the bottom of a pile of every
    sweat-soaked towel he's ever draped around his neck during a game.
  5. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    A small part of me is tempted to put together the 20 most loathsome people of SportsJournalists.com, but too many feelings would be hurt, despite the potential hilarity of it all. Plus, as pointed out previously, if we do that kind of thing, then the trolls have won.
  6. Hammer Pants

    Hammer Pants Active Member

    I was forwarded this today and was tempted to start a thread. Outstanding stuff. Hilarious, though I think nearly every SEC coach except Buttcut Helen Hunt is on there.
  7. JBHawkEye

    JBHawkEye Well-Known Member

    If I did the math correctly, since the Big Ten shares its bowl revenues evenly once expenses are paid, every conference team will get somewhere between $4-5 million when it is distributed in the next few years.

    That's what Jim Delany sees.

    Having experienced Mr. Mumme from his days coaching at the NAIA level, he should be in the top 10.
  8. jay_christley

    jay_christley Member

    Dollar signs.
    Forgo the good of the game for a few select institutions.
    No doubt he's good at his job, as self-interest protector for Big 10 presidents, but he's got to be one of the most loathsome people for college football in general.
  9. Twoback

    Twoback Active Member

    Lots of fun stuff in there, but the absence of Joe Paterno shows off the author's limited knowledge of college football.
  10. farmerjerome

    farmerjerome Active Member

    Just wondering, is this the same blog that spawned the college football/simpsons entry?
  11. Yep, same one.
  12. Armchair_QB

    Armchair_QB Well-Known Member

    Colin Cowherd is too low.
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