21's non-Thanksgiving related nightmare

Reports indicate Lou was last seen in Mombasa in a barroom drinking gin.

 

I blame Lupe and the guacamole.

 

I heard he was selling postcards of the hanging and painting the passports brown.

 

This situation is so complicated I almost started a thread a few days ago--Lou's Excellent Adventure--to ask for help. Had no idea Liza and Slappy would show up to push me over the edge.

I don't even know where to begin, or if anyone really cares (not that this ever stopped me before).

We have:
--The part where my mother's imitation Versace lace dress becomes entangled on Lou's cufflink at the Weinberg bar mitzvah, forcing them into an impromptu Twister exhibition until a scissor can be found;

--Whereupon the stress and embarrassment requires her to leave immediately for Aruba with Myrna;

--The part with the snowbank;

--The part where Lou is discovered to have congestive heart failure, after several days of the standard 'You just had too much salami, Lou, you shouldn't have so much salami!' diagnosis;

--The part where my mother concludes there is plenty of oxygen in Cancun for the congestive heart failure, and there is no reason to postpone the annual trip;

--The part where my brother--having just switched jobs from freelance mortgage broker to part-time gerontologist-- asks me for $3000 to go to Cancun to keep an eye on Mom and Lou, because he, a gerontologist, will know what to do if there's any trouble.

--The part where my sister calls to say Lou has disappeared.

I think that covers it.

 

Am always here to help, ma'am...