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10,000 Favorite Quotes from The Simpsons

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Hank_Scorpio, Oct 23, 2006.

  1. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Homer: Now, kids, I know you liked the old Poochie. (Bart and Lisa look at each other) But I promise the new one will be better than ten Super Bowls! I don't want you to over-think it. Judge for yourself.
    (in the cartoon, Itchy is using a rusty chainsaw to cut up Scratchy, who is encased in ice. Poochie appears)
    Scratchy: Look who it is!
    Itchy: Hello, Poochie. You look like you have something to say. Do you?
    Poochie (in Homer's voice): Yes, I certainly do! (in Roger Meyers Jr.'s voice) I have to go now. My planet needs me.
    (the animation cel is lifted up, creating the illusion of Poochie moving up in to the sky. A handwritten note appears saying "Poochie died on the way back to his home planet")
    Bart: Wow. Poochie came from another planet?
    Lisa: I guess.
    Homer: Hey, that wasn't supposed to happen! They ripped me off!
     
  2. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Homer: Bart and Lisa have to go to school while I get to stay home, na na na na na!
    Lisa: I like school!
    Homer: Well, why don't you live in it then?
    Lisa: I would if I could!
    Bart: Not me sister, when I grow up I'm gonna be a lardo on workman's comp just like Dad.
    (in his fantasy, morbidly obese, talking to reporters crowding around his bed) I wash myself with a rag on a stick.
     
  3. LWillhite

    LWillhite Member

    C'mon, people, how did we miss this one?

    Homer: "Alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems."

    Also, Homer riding up and down a hill on a book trolley:
    "Must kill Flanders...Wheee!...Must kill Flanders...Wheee!"

    And, finally...the best foodfight line since "Animal House."
    Lenny: "Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!"
    (Homer, the prank monkey, throws more pudding at Lenny).
    Lenny: "Ow! I'm in hell!"
     
  4. Clever username

    Clever username Active Member

    Dammit.

    Police: Are you stalling or are you just senile?
    Grandpa: A little from column A, a little from column B.
     
  5. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Can't believe no one's hit this yet ...

    Planet of the Apes, The Musical

    Ape #1: Help, the human's about to escape!
    Troy: Get your paws off me you dir-ty ape!
    Ape #1: [gasp] He can talk!
    Chorus: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
    Troy: I can si-ng!
    Ape Nurse: (to Rock Me Amadeus) Oooh, help me Dr. Zaius!
    Chorus: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius!
    Ape #3: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
    Troy: What's wrong with me?
    Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy!
    Troy: I want a second opinion!
    Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy!
    Chorus: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius!
    Ape #3: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
    Troy: Can I play the pia-no any more?
    Dr. Zaius: Of course you can!
    Troy: Well I couldn't before! [plays a few notes]
    Chorus: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius!
    Ape #3: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!
    Chorus: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius!

    Bart: This play has everything!
    Homer: Oh, I love legitimate theater!

    Troy: I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z, no you'll never make a monkey out of me.
    Troy: (Statue of Liberty rises up in background) Oh my god, I was wrong, it was Earth all along, you've finally made a monkey...
    Chorus: Yes we finally made a monkey!
    All: Yes you fin-ally made a mon-key out of me-e!
    Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!
     
  6. Smokey33

    Smokey33 Member

    Moe to Homer: "I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm."
     
  7. joe

    joe Active Member

    Lisa: Nelson, what's inside you?
    Nelson: Guts, and black stuff, and about 50 Slim Jims.
     
  8. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    Someone used to have that as their sig, maybe they still do.
     
  9. PopeDirkBenedict

    PopeDirkBenedict Active Member

    Ralph Wiggum:

    Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever.

    Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office.
     
  10. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    Hi, Principal Skinner. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers.
     
  11. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    From the same episode:

    Selma (I think): "This is the best day of my life."
    Troy: "It's a good day for me too baby!"
     
  12. Ledbetter

    Ledbetter Active Member

    Homer: I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.
    Marge: Homer!
    Homer: I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening.
     
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