10,000 Favorite Quotes from The Simpsons

When Bart and Ralphie find the electric chair at Morningwood Penitentiary:

Bart: "Smell that Ralph? That's the smell of justice."
Ralph: "Smells like hot dogs."

 

Burns: "Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket."
Smithers: "You don't have to tell me sir."

Other great lines from this show:

Homer at the Springfield Knowledgeum: "Good things don't end with -uem. they end with -mania. Or -teria!"

"I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as welcome to Springfield airport and where's Nordstrum?"

Ralph, armed with a melting ice cream bar, as he goes thru Bart's toy box: "Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky. I dropped my popsicle in your toy chest."

Ralph: "Bushes are nice because they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch."

Ralph: "This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end."

 

The resurrection of this thread is threatening to take valuable time away from more important things I need to do. But ...

I crack up every time I even think about Bart's birthday party at Wall. E. Weasel, in the episode where he falls down the well. Specifically, it's the lyrics to the birthday song the animatronic character sings to him:

"You're the birthday,
you're the birthday,
you're the birthday
boy or girl!"

Also from that episode:

Casey Kasem-like DJ: And our new No. 1 hit, "I Do Believe We're Naked", by Funky-See Funky-Do, replaces "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well", which plunges all the way down to No. 97.

And the headline on The Springfield Shopper, after the media cools on the story of Bart being down in the well and the reporter gets a lead on another big story:

"Squirrel Resembling Abraham Lincoln Found"

 

Marge loses her memory of Homer, until he says the word beer:

MARGE: "I remember you now? You get drunk all the time."

HOMER: "But do you remember you are an enabler?"

A few minutes later, as Homer's car swerves.

MARGE: "You've been drinking today, haven't you."

HOMER: "That's right, partner."

 

And the headline later:

"Lincoln squirrel assassinated"

 

The episode where Lisa gets lost going to the museum--and Bart glues a bunch of novelty items to his face--is on here.

Lisa (as Marge is taking Bart to the ER): "It's the last day of the Isis exhibit!"

Bart: "Well you should have thought of that before I glued all this stuff to my face. Nyah nyah!"

 

Lisa after she gets dropped off at THE END OF THE LINE: "I should have got off in Crackton."

 

I'm watching the episode where Marge and her neighbor Ruth go Thelma & Louise:

"Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such telethons as 'Out With Gout in '88' and 'Let's Save Tony Orlando's House.' "
---
Marge [to Ruth, at a restaurant]: There are a lot of good men out there.
[Barney enters]
Barney [to waiter]: Can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.
---
[Marge and Ruth drive up to a bar whose name is in lights, with the third letter burned out]
Marge: I've heard good things about Shotkickers.
---
[as they're being chased by Wiggum]
Ruth: Marge, it's a matter of principle. I just can't let that deadbeat win again. You're with me, aren't you?
Marge: [thinking] I should say something reassuring and noncommittal.
Marge: Hmm.

 

In honor of the lazy college kid who wanted our help writing his term paper and just to bump this up:

Nelson: Teacher and subject?
Bart: Mrs. Hoover; "Wind in the Willows."
Nelson: [taking a sheet of paper from his "filing cabinet," which is
really the back of the toilet seat]
Here we go.
Lisa: [shocked] Oh, my God! These are the answers to the test. I
don't wanna =cheat=!
Nelson: Hey, hey! These are study aids. They're for novelty
purposes only. If a few bad apples use them for cheating, I
can't be held responsible.
Lisa: Forget it. I'd rather get a zero.