1-year anniversary

Nothing says "We've been married a year!" like ATM.

 

I threw a fastball right down Broadway. Swing and a miss!

 

If Sonner fucks up Anniversary number 1, there won't be Anniversary 2.

 

I don't disagree.

 

Get her BYH's head on a spike. Everyone loves that gift.

 

I like where your head's at. Except I'll keep the torso, too, so I can throw a GMU t-shirt on. Just for kicks.

 

I'm sure you can buy some Jim Larranaga socks to go with it, too.

 

I wrote my wife 365 things that I love about her. And these weren't one-liners like, "Your hair." Every one was a minimum of three sentences, and many of them were lengthy paragraphs. And no repeats, people. I worked on the thing for weeks, printed it out, put a nice little cover on it, presented it, and watched the tears roll. And she actually did read it, although I think it's now residing at the bottom of a desk drawer with some old bills. The problem is I obviously can't top that until I can afford a surprise trip to Paris or something.

 

Waste, waste, waste. I'm not sure if she's ever worn the earrings.

 

Maybe I'll put doorknobs in the socks and beat the fuck out of you with 'em.

You like that? Then I'll unleash the full fury of my squirrels upon you.

 

I have an anniversary on Monday. The wife is getting a bowling ball, with the name Homer inscribed.

 

One night of goodness, the rest of your life trying to top that. Seriously, 365 things? That's damn impressive.