1-year anniversary

Ron White's slogan idea for DeBeers:

Diamonds, that'll shut her up.





For a minute.

 

Have you met my wife?

 

Queencreole was nine months pregnant for our first anniversary. All she wanted was a foot rub and some Mexican food. Bought her some diamond earrings too, but I don't think she gave two ounces of shit about those as she did about the chicken enchiladas.

 

And didn't you feel like a dumbass.

 

I haven't read everyone's responses, but my first-year anniversary was early June.

The one year anniversary is supposed to be "paper" so I took our marriage certificate and had it nicely framed.

Also, I was planning to get her "the other wedding band" that goes on the other side of the engagement ring. But we just had a baby and the wifey was complaining about "being fat still!" So, I went with diamond earings instead because he fingers are still a little chubby.

 

You're Ryan Sonner. You're so good, your wife thanks you for the orgasm before you have even finished foreplay. Why are you asking us mere mortals?

 

We didn't exchange pleasantries.

 

Good point, but some of the suggestions so far have been solid. Keep 'em coming, people. I wanna hear from the ladies, too, if we have any married ones lurking around.

 

She never wears the 24 Mason Final Four T-shirts you got her. So don't get her another one. Dickhead.

 

It love it when you say "Mason" and "Final Four" in the same sentence. Say it again. Please?

 

BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I will kill you.