Your Chance to Join NIAFL Football: The Essay Contest

Ah he flubs Sister Christian. That can't help him in the polls with BYH.

 

You may be interested to know that Joe Horn is an NIAFL cult figure, and the reason the league became a closed society.  In our early days, prior to the No Idiot requirement, one member who was unknown to the rest of the league decided to withdraw midseason, and began dumping all his players.  Unaware that Yahoo does not allow such psychotic behavior, he was forced to retain one player--Joe Horn.  We played the entire season with each team facing Joe Horn once or twice.  At least once, Joe single-handedly beat his opponent.

So extra credit for the reference.

 

If you want a guy who has been fucked over ... by Michael Vick and his preseason injuries; Priest Holmes and his spinal cord; Herm Edwards and his conservative play-calling; Martin Grammatica and his shanked kicks; Darrell Jackson's bum hands; Ashlie Lelie's ego; the Belichick "who will be the go-to tight end?" debacle; Bobby Hoying's pathetic end-of-game fumble at the goal line; Kurt Warner's fumbles; Ricky Williams' reefer madness; the Steve Spurrier era; Kordell Stewart's 1998 season, right around the time he got on the cover of NFL Blitz; the magician, Herman Moore (again, 1998) and his disappearing act ... just one 100-yard game and just one TD; Rich Gannon 2003; Laveranues Coles 2004; Julius Jones 2005; Elvis Grbac's career day (504 yards) against my defense: the Raiders; T.O.'s suspension; Marty Ball; All things Pete Stoyanovich (hurts just saying the name); Trent Green's four completions to Deltha O'Neal in 2001; The Air Coryell offense; Saints players; Greg Robinson's swiss cheese defense; TOMMY bleepin' Maddox.

I would write more, but sorry, my wrists are starting to hurt.

In all seriousness, I'm a newbie to this board as a poster. There's no question about that. But I've been around for quite a while, and though I lack the experience and post count that you all probably desire, I'll certainly make up for it in other areas: late-night trade proposals, waiver wire steals, and oh yeah, making fun of whoever decides to waste a draft pick on Santonio Holmes.

I'm a fantasy football veteran, I've been playing in the "minors" for well over 10-years, and despite all of the many setbacks I've had to endure (as you can see above), I've still been crowed champion four times, with three other top-3 finishes in what is always a competitive league.

Like Michelle Wie, I think I'm ready to take my game to the next level. And as some extra motivation to select me, I'll PROMISE you that unlike her, "when the tide gets tough, I'll just bring the damn ship in."

You want competition? You got it.

Take care, guys.

 

Like Michelle Wie? You want a whiny bitch who can't close the deal in your league? I can imagine it now, Headbutt, you're wanting to do a blockbuster deal and The Plan will waver, waffle and ultimately fail to pull the trigger.

There's no room for scared bitches in your league, FH, and I think you know that.

Vote Ricky Deep: Just call me Dave Littlefield.

 

Fuckabuncha Ragu. Everyone knows Prego is better.

And who wants a Bubbler or Ragu in their fantasy league, cluttering up the message board with drawn-out posts like the one above or Bubbler's previously? Jesus H man, if you've got something to say, say it!

Vote Ricky Deep: Quick to the point like BYH since 1982.

 

Good point about the ballgame, Ragu, but if sammills asks to join, I'll be in a quandary on that point. And I just read that baseball/football poll thread. God, that made my head hurt

 

I'm getting the sense that my chances of making this league -- thus guaranteeing higher finishes for everyone else -- are slipping away. The only thing I can do to improve my chances are to vow to take David Carr as my QB.

 

"A horse never runs so fast as when he has other horses to catch up and outpace."

--Ovid