Have You Ever Needed a Lawyer?

I did retain a lawyer when I divorced my first wife 20 years ago.
It cost me a 12-pack of Southpaw.

Yeah, it was a buddy of mine who didn't have a high opinion of my first wife.

 

I needed a lawyer to get custody of my son from my alcoholic, oxy-addicted ex. I had contacted a lawyer everyone I knew said was the best family court lawyer in the area, but she had a conflict of interest (she had previously represented my ex's father - court trouble runs in the family, I suppose). She referred me to another lawyer who was former Navy, no BS, and knew her way around the courtroom.

First meeting, I told her I was looking for a 50-50, not every-other-weekend, co-parenting arrangement, mostly because I figured that was the best I'd be able to get. She told me to expect a frustrating, insulting and grievously unfair process, since the courts in my state err on the side of the mother. She also said, "If everything you've told me about her is true, I hope you're ready to have full custody within 2 years. Because she isn't stable and she isn't going to get any better." She was right about everything except the ultimate timeframe.

It was an excruciatingly slow process at times, knowing my infant son was in danger living with an addict. Every court date that went by without anything happening — whether she made up some false accusation or simply missed it entirely — grew increasingly frustrating. After one where I thought I would start getting overnight parenting time (and didn't), I cussed her out in the parking lot and asked why the fuck I had to jump through so many hoops to see my own son when the mother had acknowledged paternity. I thought about getting a new lawyer. But my then-girlfriend (now my wife and adoptive mother to my son) told me to be patient and let the process play out with my lawyer. She was right.

Just 10 months after he was born, I had full custody and several months later my ex acquiesced her parental rights, paving the way for my wife to eventually adopt him.

I never had much (any?) use for a lawyer before all that, but the whole process made me want to go to law school and become a family court lawyer. I admire my lawyer beyond words for the way she was able to handle me and navigate the courts. I still call her occasionally and send her a Christmas card every year (which she loves to receive even though she celebrates Channukah) just to update her on how he's doing.

She played a bigger part in the happiness of me and my family's lives than she'll ever fully understand.

In short, I've only ever had one lawyer, and I love the shit out of her.

 

Was your lawyer missing the court date or your ex? Did you cuss out your lawyer or your ex?

Hopefully it wasn't the lawyer. I'm glad everything turned out the way it should have. I hope I've instilled those feelings in my clients (one client did invite me to his renewal of wedding vows in Mexico).

 

My ex missed multiple court dates (with no repercussions). I cussed out my lawyer in the parking lot. Specifically, I shouted, “why the fuck aren’t we getting anything?! We went in there today and got fucking nothing!”

 

Blanket statements are very rarely correct, but I think it's true that almost everybody disparages lawyers until they need one. Then their opinion changes.

 

Hired one a few years ago to sort out my finances after an ex-gf did a number on my credit cards. One of the best moves I made (after getting the hell out of the relationship). Anything that comes up, I just shoot him an email and get an answer in a few hours.

 

I tried three times in four years to get insurance-backed approval for weight-loss surgery, going through the preparation processes each time by attending mandatory informational/educational sessions, losing prerequisite amounts of weight over prescribed periods, with regular weigh-ins, to show I was serious and ready to do the work of weight loss, and going along with each office's or medical center's requisite reams of paperwork and doctor's appointments.

Only to put all my information through to my medical insurance, and have the weight-loss surgery procedure flagged as an exclusion because it was considered just cosmetic. Despite my dangerous obesity and a couple of conditions that were a direct result of it but were still on the mild side, I was considered just too healthy -- not in bad enough shape to really need it.

Fed up, I finally enlisted the help of a lawyer who specializes in weight-loss surgery cases -- of all types and from all angles -- including those with trouble getting insurance approval for it, like me.

He gathered my history, medical details and copies of prior appeals I'd made of past rejections, put it all together and successfully argued for me to have the surgery. So quickly that, within about six weeks, I had my surgery approval from the insurance company, and thus, began my ultimate weight-loss journey in my fourth attempt. At long last, I underwent my gastric-bypass procedure on Aug. 6, 2008, and went on to lose 146 pounds over an 18-month stretch.

Nearly 12 years later, I've still kept most of that weight off and consider myself a fortunately healthy and successful weight-loss surgery patient. To this day, I also still consider the fee I paid to my lawyer to be the best $800 I've ever spent.

 

The day and 30. Had I been convicted of the extreme DUI, it would have been 10 days and I think six months, plus the interlock.

 

Sure.

Work contracts.

Wills.

Real estate.

 

Ah, I misread. I thought you meant you would have an interlock device on your car for just 10 days and the longer license suspension.

 

Two divorces and one instance of child-custody re-working, so yeah. I also have a good friend lawyer who is essentially on pro bono retainer.

rb