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WSJ: 'iPhones v. Parents: The Tug of War Over America's Children'

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Dick Whitman, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. Dick Whitman

    Dick Whitman Well-Known Member

    Honestly I think I'd prefer it in a few years if 17-year-old Jr. Whitman was sending pictures of his dick to his 17-year-old girlfriend than if 17-year-old Whitman was geeking out for hours on some multi-player game. Fully expect the latter, though.

    iPhones vs. Parents: The Tug of War Over America's Children

    Serious troubles also loom: from the exchange of sexually explicit photographs or messages—which Dr. Heitner called modern-day flirting—to what the American Psychiatric Association calls “Internet Gaming Disorder” among gamers unable to pull away from their screens.
     
  2. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    Greatest Generation

    Baby Boomers

    Gen X

    Millennials

    Screeners
     
  3. SpeedTchr

    SpeedTchr Well-Known Member

    [​IMG]
     
  4. TigerVols

    TigerVols Well-Known Member

    Today's 10 year olds will be tomorrow's VR-addicted zombies.

    /getoffmylawn
     
  5. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    My kids got cell phones when they got their drivers license and they paid for any overages of their allotted minutes. That's way before your phone became a computer. Or unlimited plans became such a thing. The other rule: They had to answer within three rings when one of their parents called or it was their ass. We didn't abuse that and they always answered.

    My daughter is marrying a guy with kids from Marriage No. 1 - boys who are 13 and 9. Really good kids. Both have iPhones, as do all their pals. Not sure I'd go that early but it is a changed world.
     
  6. Deskgrunt50

    Deskgrunt50 Well-Known Member

    I KNOW I spend way too much time looking at my phone. I think it's getting more and more unhealthy. Can't imagine what it's like for kids.

    Trying to make a real effort not to check it every five minutes.
     
  7. X-Hack

    X-Hack Well-Known Member

    I'm seeing how unhealthy it is. My son will be 13 soon. We gave him my wife's old iPhone when he started middle school because he was now walking to and from school, would be home by himself for a little bit in the afternoon and we wanted to be able to check in easily (I guess we could have gotten him a flip phone). We limit his usage -- once we get home, he can only have it for about an hour in the evening once HW and chores are done. And he gets no LTE reception at school during the day so it's pretty much useless there. Still -- his dependence on it is staggering. There's always the "I just need to..." when we catch him on it during non-allotted times. There's his declining interest in reading for pleasure. He's not a gamer (only casual interest in video games) and probably never will be. Though he'll never be a varsity team-sport athlete at his size and in a town as big as ours, he's very physically active and he holds his own -- at least 1 sport per season plus tennis and skiing. But even with strict limits, the addiction (mainly YouTube, Instagram and texting his friends -- we haven't let him get Snapchat) is disturbing. And we see it impacting his personality. When we lock his apps (which we can do from our phones) as a consequence for bad decisions, he turns into a much better, more respectful and more even-tempered person who manages to find good ways to fill his time and even picks up a book on his own. But when they're available to him, he's awful. I would say it's just part of becoming a teenager. But the technology clearly has an impact. Of course, you're out of the loop socially if you don't have it -- when he gets invited to do stuff (go to the mall with friends, go on a paintball outing, go play basketball after school, whatever --it's always via text or Instagram). I can't imagine what it's like with kids who have no screen limits -- how do they not turn into completely sedentary zombies? Is that even possible? Or do the lack of limits mean they become less addicted because they're not so ferociously protective of their screen time -- kind of like the lack of binge drinking in Europe compared to here because of fewer restrictions on underage drinking?

    I wish it all could go away. Though I will say a lot depends on the kid. Our daughter is 10 and has his old iPod touch. She can play with apps, text through an iCloud email address and Face Time her friends from home with wifi. And she seems a lot less screen-dependent -- and less screen-dependent than our son was at the same age with the same iPod Touch. I just want to cry, however, when we're out and we see either entire families or entire groups of friends out together but all on their damn phones instead of interacting.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2018
  8. Rhody31

    Rhody31 Well-Known Member

    My 6-year old says she wants a phone.
    I'm sane, so that's not happening. She just wants it for videos, games and sending people emoji filled text messages. I think her desire to have a phone is because she thinks it's hers and we won't be able to take it away.
    Right now my wife and I are of the mindset that she won't get a phone until she starts driving, but I can already see a situation where she gets one in midde school.
     
  9. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    We gave our 12-year-old an iPhone for Christmas, she was the last of her group of friends without one and the iPod touch wasn't cutting it anymore. We went online and found a parent-kid contract which laid out ground rules and such, and that's been really helpful. One of the rules is that she can't ride in a car with a driver who is texting -- like her dad, who is bad about texting at red lights. And it's certainly helped in other ways, like last week when she was home alone and texted me a video of a water leak from the ceiling.

    Later this week there's a parents' night at her school where a sheriff is talking about teenagers and phones and social media dangers. That should be worthwhile and hopefully not too scary.
     
  10. TowelWaver

    TowelWaver Well-Known Member

    Just got my 11 year old an iPhone. I'm using the SaferKid app to monitor his usage/shut down at bedtime (or when I need to disable remotely)/etc. I'm hoping that is generally sufficient to avoid an issue, but was curious if anyone else had/has used this or something similar.
     
  11. poindexter

    poindexter Well-Known Member

    I can honestly say I almost feel sorry for parents today dealing with middle schoolers and iphones. My kids were in hs 8 years ago, and it was hard enough then.

    Good luck.
     
  12. KJIM

    KJIM Well-Known Member

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