'Gary Has a Lake 2: Everyone in Indiana Isn't a Racist Dumbass'

But not celebrity softball.

 

Do you hide your copy of, 'Liberalism is a Mental Disorder' when your liberal friends come over?

 

Not a mental disorder. Just a cult.

 

I mentioned previously, but my brother was in town, and came over on election night to watch the returns.

He had promised to “be good” — i.e. not to gloat too much. The only question was whether the Dems could take back the Senate.

And then...

He was so upset, I honestly felt kind of bad for him.

Thank God there was a cute baby to hold.

 

Do you tell your liberal friends you think they are cult members? Do you think that endears you to them?

 

You tell me.

 

I'm a liberal who has lived in Ohio counties that went 80.7 percent and 79 percent Trump and an Indiana county that went 71 percent Trump over the last couple years.

It's been...interesting... since the election.

I had no problem living in these places before this election. Since, it's been tougher.

 

What are your symptoms? Uncontrolled crying? Lack of sex drive?

 

I now curl up into the fetal position when I hear You Can't Always Get What You Want.

But seriously, that week of the election, because it occurred during the same week that I got some bad family health news, my wife was let go at work and the Indians lost the World Series, knocked me off my feet in a way I didn't think possible. It felt like a sewage pipe had been opened up on my life that had been backing up for years. I sat down that night, thinking watching the guy who gloated about grabbing women and questioned the patriotism of a war hero get his comeuppance would be cathartic. It turned into some horrible cinematic moment where you realize you don't understand the nature of reality and need to re-think a lot of things about yourself and everyone around you. Maybe these people aren't what I thought they were kind of thing.

Guys driving around the streets of the place I live celebrating with double Stars and Bars and Trump flags on the back of their trucks the next morning kinda sucked, too.

 

I live in a blue city in a red state. Everyone's always pissed off.

 

My state is only "blue" in areas where people actually live (Northern Virginia, Richmond and Hampton Roads).

 

Science!

Duck penises get bigger when they are surrounded by other males