Three-year itch?

I didn't necessarily have a three year itch, but my employers did.

 

At least you admit to it.

I've had a rough path or two around the three-year mark. That's when complacency can set in on both sides of the employer/employee divide, and it changes relationships.

 

I can't imagine why ...

 

I've been at my current gig for six years in September.

Before that, the longest I'd been anywhere was just over two and a half years.

 

There isn't a right answer here, Evil. It's all shades of "somewhat okay".

We are the same age and similar stages in life. Unlike your situation, I make 70 percent, wife makes 30. Combined it's a pretty good living but I, too, almost get the itch.

What are your hidden benefits to staying?

Let me tell you a story.

Two years ago, I turned down a TV anchor job. Southeast coastal state. Pay was 145k a year, nearly double what I was making here. I felt that I plateaued here and couldn't move up any further.

The whole process was quite tense for my wife and me. As I left the interview and flew home, I found a handwritten note from my wife in the suitcase that I didn't catch the entire three day trip.

It said something along the lines of: this will be a lot more money but we'll lose everything that makes us rich in all of the other ways.

My kids loved their public school. We did too. It was far superior to the education in the city I was interviewed.

Crime rates. Much lower back at home.

Our mortgage was a 15 back home. Not a 30. We were only seven years, in 2014, from paying it all off.

I turned it down, to the shock of the other station and my agent (who thought I was nuts and definitely wanted the larger commission!).

Yet a funny thing happened. One year to the day of when I turned the station down, my current place got sold. In the sale was language that our company stock would be sold back to us at a premium nearly double the price at sale.

I finally got a check last week for $93k from it. Money I never counted on. Money that I would have maybe gotten $14k had I taken the job that paid $60k more -- but in a place that would have made everyone miserable.

Take inventory of your life. Do you have any hidden assets that would bloom if you stay? Work may be uncertain but what about the rest of your life there?

 

Thanks, Hack ....
We have some similarities ...
We pay our house off in 10 years. I like our house; built in 1920, it's huge. I don't like the neighborhood; victims of theft about five years ago - broad daylight. We've had 3 bikes stolen off the porch and you can't leave your vehicle unlocked.
I'm not looking for anything job wise. ... But I am looking for this, its the only job out of the area I have applied for since we've lived here.
My wife's parents are nice, but they are 30 minutes away. They might stop by every two weeks for a 20-minute visit, to drop stuff off. Occasionally, they will meet my wife for lunch. I've been asking my FIL to take my oldest fishing all summer. He demurred. I can count the number of times the kids have stayed over night there on one hand. Sunday dinner? Maybe once in 13 years we've lived here.
Don't get me wrong, it's not bad. They are wonderful folks. If we need them all we have to do is call and ask.
My wife has one cousin in the area, that she sees once a year. I see my siblings and there kids every time I go home.
My dad, takes my nephew fishing weekly. My mom has grandkids at the house every weekend. Sunday dinner? It's practically required. Every Sunday after church, you go to my parents for lunch.
I live in a city with polluted water, air and high rates of cancer. There's a god damn respiratory aliment named after the region because of the air quality!
My home is close to whitewater rafting, skiing, hiking, tons of state parks, hunting, fishing and gorgeous golf courses. My kids and I like to be outdoors. My oldest biggest thrill right now is riding my dad's four-wheeler. He dreams of the two us going on Sunday afternoon rides together (each of us on a four-wheeler - cue the Jason Aldean music). If we move, we getting four wheelers (I haven't told the kids that). I'm the one who takes the kids to things; fairs, hikes, festivals, cool attractions.
If I am being completely honest, my family is kind of nuts ... My mom is a religious nut and her marriage to my dad is .. strained. My sister is on hubby No. 3 with four kids (by three husbands), Sis No. 2 is whack job who just adopted two foster kids (awesome kids!!!!!) to add to her little monster (he can do no wrong and therefore gets no discipline). She has a masters in engineering but is a stay at home mom who has decided to home school her kids (because her angle had trouble adjusting to school). Sis No. 3 is normal, but a bit a of an animal nut.

If I get this job the pay disparity goes from 70-30 (in her favor) to about 53-47, still in her favor, but she can go part-time - something she had talked about doing.

Work is uncertain for me here. But not for her. She's a rockstar at her job. She's treated well. Her practice is being purchased, her contract is up and that could change.
Again, this is not my hometown. My family is not here. I have NO friends here. If things dont go over and we stay here, I'm recommitting to getting involved.

If I stay, I'm thinking of opening my own business. Wild Hair of the Month, I guess ...
I'm not unhappy here, not wholly, but I really, want to go home.

Of course all this said. ... I don't think I got the job. I find out for sure tomorrow. (I wasn't entirely sold I was going to take it anyway) ... Which leads to the "What the Hell Am I Going to DO with My Career" portion of life. My job here is not sustainable. So I have to find something else. Soon.

Thanks ...

 

As men, we often find our identity through our work. I sure as well do. That's important to recognize here.

If "home" presents a better overall lifestyle, then go for it. Just don't discount the social circles of your kids.

That element can't rule your life but, a major component that I stayed, is that our schools are fantastic and I'm blessed with high-end academic kids who stay out of trouble.

A move for me could disrupt that.

Also, sometimes distance from family is good. We are 300 miles from her parents, their NASCAR and their endless double-negatives and smoking. The smoking makes me cough. The double-negatives hurt my ears.

We're also two time zones from the crazy cat lady known as my mother.

I'm uncertain how many miles is it to the prison where my father is spending the next seven years. (Yes, you read that right.)

Yes. Distance is good in certain cases.

 

I held 13 different full-time positions with eight employers in five states between the ages of 19 and 32. I rarely spent more than a year in one position, but I was always moving up the ladder, so I didn't give it much thought.

When journalism ridded itself of me, I was lucky enough to just happen upon a really great job that I've been in ever since (almost 8 years). I often wonder how my life and family would've turned out had I stayed in journalism. The lifestyle and the constant job-hopping, while a necessity for survival, contributed to two failed marriages, and I doubt very much I could've possibly become in my former life the kind of dad I am now.

Tl;dr, the however-many-years itch goes away once you find the right situation.