Stop telling me I'm beautiful. I'm ugly.

Just look at DW and how miserable he is!

 

And there is also the long-established (but perhaps fading now) idea that men have one path to success (work), but women have two: Have a good career OR marry well.

 

Nope. I'd choose smart a billion times out of a billion.

 

Well, work and wiles ...

 

In all seriousness ... I'm the father of two daughters, plus I come across all types of young women in my line of work. And in my admittedly n=1 experience, I think some (maybe a lot) of the hand-wringing over these societal nudges is unnecessary. Younger DaughterQuant's way the hell into fashion, and makeup, and singing and playing cheesy pop music ... and beating the ever-loving shit out of every other kid in the classroom, regardless of the subject. She's trotting off to one of those big Texas high schools as a freshman this fall, and it would not surprise me in the least to see her gracing the stage as a salutatorian in four years.

Further, in my classes I encounter plenty of damn good-looking and stereotypically feminine young ladies who aren't the least bit reluctant to be the smartest kid in the room.

Besides, why is it that we see winning the intelligence lottery as somehow noble and the looks lottery as somehow shameful?

 

I thinks confidence goes a long way in how you are perceived.

If you think you are ugly, you probably appear that way to others.

If you think you are awesome, you probably appear that way to others.

 

Agree with all of that, dq ...

thinking more though of the girls who wouldn't catch any attention for their looks -- not necessarily "ugly" even, but more "plain Jane"-ish. It isn't something that seems to hold boys back.

 

Mom doesn't want daughter looking all provocative and shit.

 

Gotcha. So this would be the conundrum ... if your daughter were completely average both in attractiveness and intelligence, and you could choose to improve one, and only one, by some amount ... which would you choose? And would you choose differently if it were a son, rather than a daughter, we were talking about?

 

I would answer, but I'd lose Creosote's respect (what remains of it anyway) forever.

 

Beauty is much, much more subjective than intelligence.

If nothing else, choosing to "achieve" beauty is aiming at a moving target that's impossible to hit.