Cincinnati Zoo kills gorilla after 4-year-old climbs into his pen

Yeah. Too bad Klara Hitler didn't have an abortion.

 

Has the family sued the zoo yet for the faulty enclosure that allowed the kid to get in?

 

Not yet... but a PR firm is releasing their statements. (With the requisite plea to "respect our privacy." Piss off.)

 

EXCLUSIVE: Parents-of-four whose son fell into zoo enclosure sparking killing of Harambe the gorilla as it emerges father has a lengthy criminal history - including kidnap and drug trafficking

PICTURED: The parents-of-four whose son fell into gorilla enclosure

 

I wouldn't have shot that zoo monkey.

I would have challenged it to a bare-knuckle boxing match.

 

And I blame Disney for irresponsibly teaching kids that all animals are friendly, cuddly critters who will dance with us and sing songs with us.

Disney should be ashamed! Ashamed that my heart was broken when I found out Baloo really couldn't be my best friend! You monsters! You lied to me! YOU LIED TO ME!

 

My guess how this goes: The parents take advantage of all this hand-wringing by breeders, sue the zoo. The zoo, forced to defend itself, releases security video of mom turning back, talking on phone, yelling at other kids (etc.) for a good 10 seconds while her spawn scales the wall that's as tall as he is. It's another 5-7 seconds of him crawling through the bushes until someone taps her shoulder and says "Hey, is that your kid?" Then it's all "MY BAAAAAYBEE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! (Uh, girlfriend? Can I call you back later? Click.)"

 

She's a total 6.

 

Uh, oh.

I will not subject myself to reading a single after-story comment about this story from this point forward.

 

My question is: Why?

 

Their ethnicity.

 

Mr. W will not comment until after his case his settled. How much are they seeking from the zoo? 3 mil?