Support Clubber Slang's Cut-starter campaign to buy Clubber Lang's boxing robe

Listen here, you old message-board scallywags. Clubber Slang is here to fleece you for some coin ask for your help in the most important purchase of his life. Your boy Clubber has seen on these here Internet spaces that the real-life Clubber Lang boxing robe from "Rocky III" (aka the film with the worst ending in history) is coming up for auction soon.

I needs it: http://catalog.greyflannelauctions.com/1982-Clubber-Lang-Fight-Robe-Screen-Worn-by-Mr-T--LOT32524.aspx



Like any good public-fundraising-for-private-gain campaign, Clubb is offering incentives to make you feel better about giving me money. We got sponsorship levels, bitches!

Donate $5
Clubber Slang will come to your house and cut you.

Donate $10
C-Slang will come to your house, make a sandwich with items from your refrigerator, cut the sandwich, then cut you.

Donate $15
Clubber will cut your mama … and let her Instagram it. #ClubberCutMe #Blessed

Donate $20
Clubber will cut you, your mama and your cousin too.

Donate $25
Clubber will cu … oh, who am I kidding? Ain't no journalists have $25 to contribute to a Kickstarter. GTFOH.

I figure I need like six or seven million, tops. So don't be shy.

Paypay (or whatever) your money to ClubberSlangPain@gmail.com.

 

whoa

 

What you got on my robe, Cosmo?

 

The sun just shone a little brighter.

 

How do you like a comment around here? You guys haven't updated this thing since 2009?

SMH

 

I'll send you pieces of flair, if that makes you feel any better.

 

All 13?

 

I feel like I'm in a time machine.

 

"Champ, do you have any predictions for the big auction?"

 

Damn, where's 21 when you need her?

 

*checks bed*

Nope. She ain't here.

 

And it is glorious!