The Internet dating world is a cesspool

I wish I was as tall as that guy. That'd help.

 

I got hit on by a 22-year-old college student on OkCupid last night (I'm 32). I can't take her seriously, but that was still pretty good for the ol' ego.

 

I'm throwing this out there since there was a sort of internet angle to it.

when i was in college, I met this girl in an online chatroom (dated myself, didn't I) who just happened to go to my school - and we were both chatting from our dorm room. So, we said what the hell, let's meet up. So, we drove to a common area and talked for 10-15 minutes. Nothing serious, no "we should go out sometime, etc."

Couple days later, my friend and I were walking and, lo-and-behold, there she is - and they know each other. Somehow, in the course of that conversation, I got rejected for a date - THAT I NEVER EVEN ASKED FOR.

She left, I turned to my friend, dumbfounded, and asked "Did I just get rejected for a date I didn't ask for?"

 

Let me fix that for you.

 

We need more on what kind of chit-chat is going on during these dates.
For God's sake I hope there's no conscious expression of your shortcomings, as here.
Self-deprecation is one thing but a first date isn't the time for it.

 

I know better than that. We exchanged stories, talked about her job, talked about my job, told some braggy stories about things I've done as a reporter and she told me some braggy stories about stuff she'd done as an undergrad studying oceanography in Hawaii.

I think I'm smart, funny and engaging. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure of it. Conversation is not where my lack of confidence lies.

I'm trying really hard to play it cool, and I do fine right up till the moment we're at the end of the date and it's time to make a move. Then I choke. I'm like the Cubs in the NLCS of dating.

Second date is tomorrow night. We're meeting at a pub for something to eat and then going to see a movie. We've exchanged a reasonable number of texts and there seems to be the right tone of interest coming from her end. But I'm deep inside my own head right now, gonna choke this one just as hard.

Maybe I'll try to Nuke Laloosh it and wear women's underwear on the date:



There was one other woman I've seen a few times, but she's getting a "let's be friends" speech when we meet this weekend.

 

She became a science teacher and then ended up with a really cool state job.

I'm getting a distinct "emotionally damaged and using you as a stepping stone to feeling normal" vibe from her.

 

Maybe we need to sacrifice a chicken on the Durham mound for the good juju.
Are these makeouts fairly passionate, or hasty pecks on the mouth?

 

We should do a gofundme to pay for Rick's therapist bills. They have to be mounting up.

 

That's the absolute worst. Then again, you could probably get some before she's done using you.

 

I'm hoping we'll get good news after tomorrow night. Who knows? "Oh, are we hugging now?" could turn out to be a great line that is remembered happily ever after.

I really want to talk some more about hay bales but I am restraining myself.

 

She studied under this noted marine biologist: