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Evaluate me

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by hoosier122, Sep 3, 2010.

  1. hoosier122

    hoosier122 New Member

    It's hoosier. Fair enough. I just wanted to show I did have player quotes, but you're right - I buried them. I tend to over write, so I shouldn't blame an editor when things get cut.

    93, I appreciate the advice on the lead. I'll be covering another game tonight, the outcome will likely be at least 63-0. Any advice on making stories out of blowouts?

    I don't want my game stories to be a regurgitation of stats or a play-by-play. I often have a hard time trying to structure interviews around a possible story immediately after the game. When I get back to the office and write I realize, "Why didn't I ask X, Y and Z."

    I took exactly one writing class in college at IU (a required composition class). I've been in this job since last Nov. This was the second football game story I wrote. I'm learning as I go. Thanks for the criticism.
     
  2. Stitch

    Stitch Active Member

    So many unemployed newspaper writers and a paper hires someone without much writing experience. No wonder I'm bitter.
     
  3. hoosier122

    hoosier122 New Member

    I tend to over write. It's something I'm working on.

    Yes, I clearly forgot to put a verb, such as "said" when introducing the quote.

    Capitalization of Coach is the paper's style. Also, my ME prefers to have the speech tag at the start of the first quote. I assume so the reader knows immediately who is speaking.

    Thanks for the comments.
     
  4. Stitch

    Stitch Active Member

    Your ME doesn't know how to write.
     
  5. hoosier122

    hoosier122 New Member

    I believe I was the only person who applied. It was posted nationally, because that is LCNI's policy.

    I don't feel guilty for it. We all have to start somewhere. I recognize the publisher took a risk with me. I really had to rebuild bridges between coaches and the paper. I think the athletics directors and coaches have appreciated that.

    You certainly have a right to be bitter, but not at me. I'm just another tax-paying Joe, who is still learning.

    LCNI posts all its job openings online here: http://www.lcni.com/jobs/index.php

    It looks like there are some sports jobs.
     
  6. hoosier122

    hoosier122 New Member

    He holds the keys for me though. At this point in my career, it's not my place to judge someone who has been a SE for 25-plus years. He makes his readers happy. That is more than a lot of other local SEs are doing. Obviously you can figure out who he is by looking at the story he wrote.

    If you want you can send me a PM and I'll give you the URL for his paper, although if your google-fu is at least level one you can probably find it. I'll hopefully learn some good habits from him along the way. I'm sure it's not easy dealing with an idiot like me. :p
     
  7. Stitch

    Stitch Active Member

    Why ask for an evaluation when you blame him for how some reacted to your article? You're not learning much from him if you've worked there for almost a year and making mistakes in gamers that should be corrected by now. Whether it's football, basketball or baseball, the same fundamentals apply to a gamer.
     
  8. hoosier122

    hoosier122 New Member

    I didn't blame anyone. I recognized I should have made the coach's first win more prominent, had the win higher in the story with the players quotes and shortened it. Most of those things are recommendations I've never heard.

    Someone asked about why the quote intro was first and Coach was capitalized. I said that's the style my paper and ME want them.

    Please define fundamental mistakes. All the information is in the story. Style could be improved. That is why I'm here and listening.
     
  9. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    hoosier,

    You say you are working on not over writing, and you really need to focus on that. More numbers, quotes, information doesn't necessarily make a story better. It may just bore the reader.

    To may numbers and stats can just cause people to lose interest. You need to use them wisely.

    You should focus each story. Find an angle, quote, play, star, goat, turning point, whatever, that makes this particular game interesting and different form the millions of other high school games ever played.

    In your possible 63-0 game, the angle might be the third-string lineman who never gets to play but played the fourth quarter and made his first tackle.

    And my other general advice if you ever write the story and don't leave something out that hurts to cut, your story is not any good. That means you didn't have enough to begin with or you weren't focused enough.
     
  10. Hank_Scorpio

    Hank_Scorpio Active Member

    Also remember proper grammar, it's not should of. It's should've, which is the contraction for should have.

    You may already know this and it just slipped in the post.



    As far as getting better stories at games, sometimes it's as easy as just doing your homework. Know some of the back story of the team and things can pop at the game. Read previews of the game (if you didn't write it).

    And as the game goes on, just keep it in the back of your mind.

    Or as you're writing pbp/stats, take note of certain possible big plays. Was there a 99-yard TD run? A little used fullback goes for three scores, which matches his previous total for three years combined?

    Keep your eyes and ears open and it can help you find some nuggets you can expand into a lede or story.
     
  11. Boom_70

    Boom_70 Well-Known Member

    Chat up some MILTF's roaming the sidelines for some good insight to team.
     
  12. JPsT

    JPsT Member

    I believe AP style is MILF.

    He searched for MILFs at the game. He was thwarted by a MILF's son. He enjoys MILFs' features.
     
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