Author Topic: Help with column  (Read 1168 times)

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Offline CYowSMR

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Help with column
« on: June 24, 2010, 11:03:03 AM »
I am a GA news guy who loves sports, so my ME gave me the opportunity to write a weekly column about the Atlanta Braves.

I am only allowed to go 450-500 words (I guess so I keep my priorities straight), but I was wondering if you guys could help me with the way I wanted to do this week's column.

I want to be a "list" of replacement possibilities, but should I do it bullet-style or incorporate it into the article?

Take a look and tell me what you would change:

Who’s gonna fill his cleats? Five possible replacements for Bobby Cox
 By Chris Yow
[email protected]

2,100 wins, 14 division titles, five pennants and a World Championship are what Bobby Cox has given to the Atlanta Braves baseball club.
Not bad for a former New York Yankee.
There are a few people, however, who do not think Cox has been a great manager due to having a spectacular pitching staff throughout the 1990s, yet winning just the one World Series.
Nonetheless, Cox is retiring following the 2010 season, and will likely be remembered by many Braves’ fans as the man who took them to the top.
With the fourth most wins as a manager in Major League Baseball history, Cox will certainly be enshrined into Cooperstown.
But the person who follows Cox will need to be energetic and ready to step into a team building on the successes of Cox.
Five people who could replace Cox as manager are:
• Terry Pendleton – As current hitting coach for the Braves, Pendleton is in the ripe position to step in and become the team’s manager. A former player under Cox, Pendleton has a lot to offer the club in a coaching aspect. He is easily the favorite via public opinion.
• Ned Yost – Yost left the Braves’ third base coaches box for a spot in Milwaukee as manager. He never fared well there, and has not done too well in Kansas City as of late, but Yost has a lot of years under his belt and could be just the right fit to bring back to Atlanta.
• Dave Brundage – Currently the manager just a few miles northeast of Atlanta in Gwinnett for the Braves’ AAA ball club. He won the Governor’s Cup with the Richmond, now Gwinnett, Braves in the team’s last season in Richmond. He has won three minor league titles in all, and was the Manager of the Year in 2003.
• Glenn Hubbard – As far as loyalty goes, Glenn Hubbard is a great choice. Spending 10 of his 12 seasons with Atlanta as a player, including an All-Star season in 1983. Hubbard has been with the Braves 21 years, including the past 12 as first base coach.
• Fredi Gonzalez – Recently fired Florida Marlins manager, Gonzalez is a long shot, but not as long as some may think. He was the manager in Richmond for the Braves in 2002, and spent the next four seasons as third base coach for Atlanta. His career record as a manager is 354-361 (.495).
• Dark Horse – Bobby Valentine – Valentine managed the New York Mets to the 2000 NL pennant, and in 15 seasons as a manager compiled a 1,117-1,072 (.510) record.  He is the only candidate with no ties to the Braves at all, but his credentials should merit a look from Atlanta.
Whomever the Braves choose to succeed Cox, the cleats he leaves behind will be mighty hard to fill.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2010, 12:42:28 PM by CYowSMR »

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2010, 11:04:08 AM »
This was supposed to go in the "Writer's Workshop" area. Guess I'm too technologically dumb to figure out why it did not.


Offline Moderator1

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2010, 12:03:16 PM »
Moved.  I'd update.  Fredi ain't in Florida anymore.

You are a news guy WHO loves sports, not THAT loves sports.

I believe Gwinnett is north of Atlanta.   Check that. Also, check on that Governor's Cup thing. Not certain that's correct (though it might be).

They'll name you manager of the Braves before they name Hubbard.

When was Yost in Detroit?  I believe he's only one game under .500 with KC but that isn't a large sample size.

Go out of your way to make good memories. At some point, these memories may be all you have left. May God bless you all.

"Some people are so busy learning the tricks of the trade, they never learn the trade.” - Vernon Law

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Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2010, 12:15:49 PM »
I know Hubbs will never be a manager, but he should at least get an interview for his loyalty. I assumed that because I went 85S out of ATL that it was south of it, but didn't remember turning back to the NE to get there. Again, waiting on my fact checking.

As far as Yost being in Detroit, I must have been dreaming when I wrote that...I have no idea, unless I was talking to someone in the newsroom about GM!

Offline Moderator1

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2010, 12:21:01 PM »
Never assume.  First rule.  Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.  If you remember no other lessons, remember that one.

And update Fredi.  He gone.
Go out of your way to make good memories. At some point, these memories may be all you have left. May God bless you all.

"Some people are so busy learning the tricks of the trade, they never learn the trade.” - Vernon Law

www.si.com

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2010, 12:28:03 PM »
He's updated to "Recently fired Florida Marlins manager"

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2010, 12:39:55 PM »
The "Governor's Cup" is the International League's championship.

Offline expendable

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2010, 12:44:24 PM »
Actually, I think it's the Governors' Cup, with the apostrophe after the s.
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."  — Mitch Hedberg

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Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2010, 12:45:53 PM »
As in multiple governors? Makes sense, but a little odd.

Offline expendable

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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."  — Mitch Hedberg

"A journalist with a spotless desk is a journalist who is not busy enough."  — R.I.P. editorhoo

We argue about some pretty stupid shit around here. — Armchair_QB

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2010, 01:28:57 PM »
OT: But I love the Mitch Hedberg quote. He had some great ones.

Offline Moderator1

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2010, 01:42:04 PM »
The "Governor's Cup" is the International League's championship.

Yeah - I know.  Covered a little IL in my day.  Check if Richmond won it during its final season.  May well have.  Wasn't paying close attention, but I don't remember that.
Go out of your way to make good memories. At some point, these memories may be all you have left. May God bless you all.

"Some people are so busy learning the tricks of the trade, they never learn the trade.” - Vernon Law

www.si.com

Offline ringer

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2010, 07:46:34 PM »
A column on this topic should be persuasive, so your arguments should be stronger than:

"Pendleton has a lot to offer the club in a coaching aspect"
"Yost has a lot of years under his belt "
"As far as loyalty goes, Glenn Hubbard is a great choice...

If you have to limit the choices to three in order to have more room to bolster your analysis of each, I think it would help.

Also, you should have an opinion. That's what columnists do. They take a stance. So make the leap and pick one of these guys in your kicker, rather than end with a shrug (i.e. "Whomever the Braves choose to succeed Cox, the cleats he leaves behind will be mighty hard to fill.")

That said, it was well organized.


Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2010, 06:03:54 AM »
Thanks a bunch. I may cut the list and remove Hubbard, Valentine and Yost. Those are now the unlikeliest of candidates. I will try to pull a "winner" and then give two other choices I wouldn't mind, but still have a clear pick from me.

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2010, 06:40:01 AM »
Y'all have been extremely helpful, and this could be my best Braves column yet. (It's only my second.)

Here is the revised and, hopefully, better edition.

Who’s gonna fill his cleats? It's Brundage for me
 By Chris Yow
[email protected]

2,100 wins, 14 division titles, five pennants and a World Championship are what Bobby Cox has given to the Atlanta Braves baseball club.
Not bad for a former New York Yankee.
There are a few people, however, who do not think Cox has been a great manager due to having a spectacular pitching staff throughout the 1990s, yet winning just the one World Series.
Nonetheless, Cox is retiring following the 2010 season, and will likely be remembered by many Braves’ fans as the man who took them to the top.
With the fourth most wins as a manager in Major League Baseball history, Cox will certainly be enshrined into Cooperstown.
But the person who follows Cox will need to be energetic and ready to step into a team building on the successes of Cox, and that man is Dave Brundage.
Brundage is currently the manager just a few miles northeast of Atlanta in Gwinnett for the Braves’ AAA ball club, he’s won three minor league championships, including the 2007 Governors’ Cup with the Richmond Braves. In 2003, Brundage was name Manager of the Year in Minor League Baseball. His minor league record is 873-809 (.519). He has also been instrumental in helping to develop many of the current Braves’ stars. However, skeptics say his skills may not transfer to the big leagues.
Two other possibilities the Braves’ organization may look at in hiring a replacement are Terry Pendleton and Fredi Gonzalez.
Pendleton is the current hitting coach for the Braves, and is in a ripe position to step in and become the team’s manager. A former player under Cox for five of his 15 playing seasons, Pendleton has a lot to offer the club in a coaching aspect. The batting averages of nearly 70 percent of Braves’ players have gone up while with Pendleton in Atlanta compared to their average of the previous three seasons. As a hitting coach, Pendleton has been phenomenal at bringing players to their potential quickly.
Gonzalez, recently fired Florida Marlins manager, is a long shot, but not as long as some may think. He was the manager in Richmond for the Braves in 2002, and spent the next four seasons as third base coach for Atlanta. His career record as a manager is 354-361 (.495). Wednesday, Gonzalez was let go from his duties in Miami, but it was clear that many were unhappy with the decision, including Cox.
Cox told the Florida Sun-Sentinel’s Juan C. Rodriguez he was very unhappy with the firing, and Marlins’ owner Jeffrey Loria, “thinks you change (for the sake of changing).”
It looks like Gonzalez could be a front-runner after Cox, in my opinion, seemingly endorsed him for the job.
Whomever the Braves choose, however, will have big cleats to fill.

Offline Moderator1

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2010, 06:42:01 AM »
Take out "in my opinion," we know it is your opinion.

Go out of your way to make good memories. At some point, these memories may be all you have left. May God bless you all.

"Some people are so busy learning the tricks of the trade, they never learn the trade.” - Vernon Law

www.si.com

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #16 on: June 25, 2010, 06:42:23 AM »
"It looks like Gonzalez could be a front-runner after Cox, in my opinion, seemingly endorsed him for the job."

Let me first say on this sentence, we discussed this in the office, and while it is an opinion column, we were thinnking I might need to cover myself on the statement.

What do you think?

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #17 on: June 25, 2010, 06:43:08 AM »
Take out "in my opinion," we know it is your opinion.

That answered that question quickly! :) Thanks!

Offline expendable

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #18 on: June 25, 2010, 08:42:15 AM »
I know Cox has said this would be his last season, but I'm not going to fully believe it until they name a new manager.  Especially, with some of the young talent that's on the roster now.
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."  — Mitch Hedberg

"A journalist with a spotless desk is a journalist who is not busy enough."  — R.I.P. editorhoo

We argue about some pretty stupid shit around here. — Armchair_QB

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #19 on: June 25, 2010, 09:12:28 AM »
You could be right, but for argument's sake, I say he is done. He liked the farm system aspect of the business anyway, and that's where he is going to be.

Offline ringer

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #20 on: June 25, 2010, 12:05:46 PM »
This is much stronger.
You gave MUCH better explanations of each candidate's skills.

Now I think you just have to connect your points. You need a sentence saying why you think Brundage's minor league skills would trump Pendleton's for the job. And another sentence saying why Brundage's skills would trump Gonzalez's.

But I just read it again...and now I'm a little confused. You start by picking Brundage, but in the end, it sounds like you've pick Gonzalez. Which is it?

Also, remember to finish strong. If you're a columnist, you should avoid the temptation to hedge, especially in the kicker (i.e. "could be,"  "seemingly," "looks like,"  "in my opinion").

Lastly, there were a couple of clunky sentences such as: "There are a few people, however, who do not think Cox has been a great manager due to having a spectacular pitching staff throughout the 1990s, yet winning just the one World Series." Huh? Do you mean a few people think Cox has underperformed as a manager because he has only captured one World Series, in [year tk], despite his spectacular piching staff during his [tk]-year tenure?  (Kiss of death phrases to avoid:  "there are" "due to having"... )

« Last Edit: June 25, 2010, 12:08:23 PM by ringer »

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #21 on: June 25, 2010, 12:57:09 PM »
I gave my pick early.
I simply stated Cox "seemingly" gave his endorsement to Gonzalez and that could make him a front runner. I use seemingly because he never actually said, "Hey, give Fredi my job."

Chunky sentences - I don't see the problem with the sentence (other than maybe "due to having" rather than simply "because")

Offline spnited

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #22 on: June 27, 2010, 12:26:59 PM »
First sentence is backwards. Should read:

Bobby Cox has given the Atlanta Braves 2,100 wins, 14 division titles, five pennants and a World Series championship.



Offline Drip

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #23 on: September 03, 2010, 08:04:47 AM »
This is a nice story. It's not a column. Got a lot of facts in, which is good. I look forward to reading more stuff from you.

Offline CYowSMR

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Re: Help with column
« Reply #24 on: September 20, 2010, 11:17:41 AM »
This is a nice story. It's not a column. Got a lot of facts in, which is good. I look forward to reading more stuff from you.

Thanks. I don't get much in the way of sports now that I am with the Jasper Daily Mountain Eagle. But I appreciate the compliment.