Author Topic: I am young and looking for a critique of my work  (Read 4108 times)

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Offline txsportsscribe

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #50 on: April 05, 2010, 07:16:34 PM »
And if you do not want to see my game recaps do not look. It is not hurting anyone.

this attitude needs to go

pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #51 on: April 05, 2010, 08:45:44 PM »
And if you do not want to see my game recaps do not look. It is not hurting anyone.

this attitude needs to go
I have no attitude, just stating the facts. I show no disrespect to anyone here.


pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #52 on: April 05, 2010, 08:47:46 PM »
IfI practice my pitching in the back yard if no one's around, how can it help me?

If I practice my putting on the green all by myself, how can it help me?

If I conjugate French verbs in my head three hours a day, how can it help me?

If I practice my saxaphone alone a half hour a day, how can it help me?

If I rehearse my speech in front of a mirror, how can it help me?

If you have to ask yourself these questions... no, I'm not going to go there.

Just practice. I hear it makes perfect.
Only perfect practice makes you perfect.

However, you aren't going to have perfect practice for a very long time. And some don't ever get all the way there, but they get close enough. Even if you do achieve perfection in practice, it doesn't ensure that when you're doing it for real that every article is going to be Pulitzer Prize-worthy.

The main thing holding you back right now (aside from your age and the obvious limitations of opportunity that comes with that) is your grammar and style errors. You shouldn't only pay attention to what your English teacher (and the rest of them too) say about the articles you post here. You should watch what they say about your everyday homework assignments.
Thanks. I plan on buying On Writing Well, and The Elements of Style (I checked both out of the library.) for reference on grammar.

Offline KJIM

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #53 on: April 06, 2010, 06:07:14 AM »
And if you do not want to see my game recaps do not look. It is not hurting anyone.

this attitude needs to go
I have no attitude, just stating the facts. I show no disrespect to anyone here.
No, that's not the case. You're extremely disrespectful. On this and other threads, you've been given suggestions, and you've blown them off with excuses. Your "rewrite it for me" is basically "do my homework, I'm too lazy." That's disrespect.

So is throwing a quote at someone's attempt at illustrating your illusion that if you practice alone it doesn't matter. Thing is, you're so arrogant you don't even recognize the disrepect.

You come by it honestly, so we're trying to excuse it. You're enthusiastic, so that's promising. But if you ask for help and blow it off, it makes people less inclined to help you.

Perfect practice is for those who have the skills already. You don't go to a child's piano concert and hear much Mozart. T-ball players experiment with many positions.

Develop the skills first. That means practicing on your own. Take the suggestions. Read. Journal. Visit the library. Accept criticism.

If you read the other threads that have offered other young writers advice, you'll see a recurring theme: if you just love sports, it won't work. You must love writing.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2010, 06:10:09 AM by KJIM »

Offline ringer

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #54 on: April 06, 2010, 10:27:04 AM »
Sounds like you haven't blown off every suggestion. But here's where I found a sure sign of disrespect:

When you said, re: the Baylor vs. Duke recap, "I was going to edit it, but I felt that I should try to write another recap. So here it is of the NIT Final."

If you don't edit your own work, it means you don't care about it.

To post something without polishing it, and then ask for a critique it means that you've transferred the editing burden to the professionals on this site.

What I would suggest is that you post only your best work here. It will showcase your strengths better, and when you've posted something you think is immune to criticism and receive comments, then you will really begin to learn.

As for who can offer you opinions on your practice stories -- you might ask your peers in school, especially if they are grammar wizards. Or, even better, when you write a recap, check a couple of papers the next day to see what was published about the game. Study how the pros constructed their pieces and try to follow the pattern. Later, after you've figured out which facts seem to be most important and how to put them in order, and paid close attention to capitalization, spelling, and commas, then you can start to get a bit more creative in your writing.

Just one caveat -- sportswriting these days is full of cliches. Avoid them at all costs. To that end, try to select newspapers and magazines whose sports sections are of the highest quality. (And do not try to write the way TV commentators speak)

Good luck.

I'm looking forward to reading your very best work

pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #55 on: April 06, 2010, 02:43:44 PM »
Sounds like you haven't blown off every suggestion. But here's where I found a sure sign of disrespect:

When you said, re: the Baylor vs. Duke recap, "I was going to edit it, but I felt that I should try to write another recap. So here it is of the NIT Final."

If you don't edit your own work, it means you don't care about it.

To post something without polishing it, and then ask for a critique it means that you've transferred the editing burden to the professionals on this site.

What I would suggest is that you post only your best work here. It will showcase your strengths better, and when you've posted something you think is immune to criticism and receive comments, then you will really begin to learn.

As for who can offer you opinions on your practice stories -- you might ask your peers in school, especially if they are grammar wizards. Or, even better, when you write a recap, check a couple of papers the next day to see what was published about the game. Study how the pros constructed their pieces and try to follow the pattern. Later, after you've figured out which facts seem to be most important and how to put them in order, and paid close attention to capitalization, spelling, and commas, then you can start to get a bit more creative in your writing.

Just one caveat -- sportswriting these days is full of cliches. Avoid them at all costs. To that end, try to select newspapers and magazines whose sports sections are of the highest quality. (And do not try to write the way TV commentators speak)

Good luck.

I'm looking forward to reading your very best work
I was on on vacation. Had I been home I would have.

pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #56 on: April 06, 2010, 02:46:32 PM »
And if you do not want to see my game recaps do not look. It is not hurting anyone.

this attitude needs to go
I have no attitude, just stating the facts. I show no disrespect to anyone here.
No, that's not the case. You're extremely disrespectful. On this and other threads, you've been given suggestions, and you've blown them off with excuses. Your "rewrite it for me" is basically "do my homework, I'm too lazy." That's disrespect.

So is throwing a quote at someone's attempt at illustrating your illusion that if you practice alone it doesn't matter. Thing is, you're so arrogant you don't even recognize the disrepect.

You come by it honestly, so we're trying to excuse it. You're enthusiastic, so that's promising. But if you ask for help and blow it off, it makes people less inclined to help you.

Perfect practice is for those who have the skills already. You don't go to a child's piano concert and hear much Mozart. T-ball players experiment with many positions.

Develop the skills first. That means practicing on your own. Take the suggestions. Read. Journal. Visit the library. Accept criticism.

If you read the other threads that have offered other young writers advice, you'll see a recurring theme: if you just love sports, it won't work. You must love writing.
I am not sure I agree but I do need to be more mature, and accept criticism. And if I cam off as "Re-write for me" I am sorry. I am looking for "If you were the editor, what changes would you make." So I could avoid those mistakes again.

Offline Stitch

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #57 on: April 06, 2010, 02:48:02 PM »
Sounds like you haven't blown off every suggestion. But here's where I found a sure sign of disrespect:

When you said, re: the Baylor vs. Duke recap, "I was going to edit it, but I felt that I should try to write another recap. So here it is of the NIT Final."

If you don't edit your own work, it means you don't care about it.

To post something without polishing it, and then ask for a critique it means that you've transferred the editing burden to the professionals on this site.

What I would suggest is that you post only your best work here. It will showcase your strengths better, and when you've posted something you think is immune to criticism and receive comments, then you will really begin to learn.

As for who can offer you opinions on your practice stories -- you might ask your peers in school, especially if they are grammar wizards. Or, even better, when you write a recap, check a couple of papers the next day to see what was published about the game. Study how the pros constructed their pieces and try to follow the pattern. Later, after you've figured out which facts seem to be most important and how to put them in order, and paid close attention to capitalization, spelling, and commas, then you can start to get a bit more creative in your writing.

Just one caveat -- sportswriting these days is full of cliches. Avoid them at all costs. To that end, try to select newspapers and magazines whose sports sections are of the highest quality. (And do not try to write the way TV commentators speak)

Good luck.

I'm looking forward to reading your very best work
I was on on vacation. Had I been home I would have.

Another smart alec remark. We're waiting for your best work, not something you type out at 11 p.m. Anyone can write a game recap, give us more. Tell us a story from your own community. If I were the editor, I want something that is something that wouldn't get a D if you turned it in as an assignment. Once you get your grammar down in a few months, try posting something else.

pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #58 on: April 06, 2010, 03:00:39 PM »
Sounds like you haven't blown off every suggestion. But here's where I found a sure sign of disrespect:

When you said, re: the Baylor vs. Duke recap, "I was going to edit it, but I felt that I should try to write another recap. So here it is of the NIT Final."

If you don't edit your own work, it means you don't care about it.

To post something without polishing it, and then ask for a critique it means that you've transferred the editing burden to the professionals on this site.

What I would suggest is that you post only your best work here. It will showcase your strengths better, and when you've posted something you think is immune to criticism and receive comments, then you will really begin to learn.

As for who can offer you opinions on your practice stories -- you might ask your peers in school, especially if they are grammar wizards. Or, even better, when you write a recap, check a couple of papers the next day to see what was published about the game. Study how the pros constructed their pieces and try to follow the pattern. Later, after you've figured out which facts seem to be most important and how to put them in order, and paid close attention to capitalization, spelling, and commas, then you can start to get a bit more creative in your writing.

Just one caveat -- sportswriting these days is full of cliches. Avoid them at all costs. To that end, try to select newspapers and magazines whose sports sections are of the highest quality. (And do not try to write the way TV commentators speak)

Good luck.

I'm looking forward to reading your very best work
I was on on vacation. Had I been home I would have.

Another smart alec remark. We're waiting for your best work, not something you type out at 11 p.m. Anyone can write a game recap, give us more. Tell us a story from your own community. If I were the editor, I want something that is something that wouldn't get a D if you turned it in as an assignment. Once you get your grammar down in a few months, try posting something else.
I disagree, he asked why I did not edit my article. My reason was that I left, Monday and did not return until 11 pm on Wednesday. So I have a pad of notes, and tips gathered from here, jotted down the ones from that story, and felt that it would help me more to write another one. And I would like to do a big story (one that I spend a week or two on) but I have no ideas. If anyone has suggestions for article it would be appreciated.

Offline WriteThinking

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #59 on: April 06, 2010, 05:29:02 PM »
POP,

Please, STOP answering every post or assertion that others are making about you. You have a potential gold mine here of information, experience and willing professionals to help you. It is up to you to use it correctly, don't over-use it, and, most of all, don't abuse it.

Just read the the posts and take them in, quietly and on your own, think about what we're saying, and quit having answers/excuses for everything.

Or, even if you do have a response, and feel picked on and inclined to give it, DON'T always do it. THAT -- it's called restraint -- is a sign of maturity, and oftentimes, it is also the better part of wisdom.

You do have an attitude, and if you want our input, it needs to stop. Otherwise, you're just showing that you don't actually want our help, thoughts or valuable feedback.

If that is the case, well...come back when you do, maybe a few years from now.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2010, 05:42:45 PM by WriteThinking »

Offline WriteThinking

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #60 on: April 06, 2010, 05:41:50 PM »
As for your recap items, what you should do is read the Major League Baseball round-up, the NBA and WNBA round-ups, the NFL game recaps, the NHL round-ups in newspapers, and write yours like those, with the most pertinent highlights highest up in the items.

What you're looking for, beyond the leading scorers and top statistics and/or the key highlights of the turning points of the games, are interesting facts of either the historical or statistical or personal variety that you might not see or find in the box-/line-score or agate.

Notice the types of facts included, the order of things presented, and the repetitiveness of them. Then, do that, over and over, until it becomes a formula -- that's what it is. Think of it as painting by numbers. That will help you think about and notice things, and understand, so that you really get it down.

In short, read what's in newspaper recaps, and write your things like that. There's a reason that they're done that way, and that style of writing can be applied to any level of sports writing, even the high school games that you may eventually cover for a paper as a stringer.

If you write your high school gamers like that, and do them well, with the rules of good English and grammar applied, and most importantly, make deadlines, you will make friends in a newsroom.

And, you will keep getting called on for more work.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2010, 05:46:22 PM by WriteThinking »

pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #61 on: April 06, 2010, 06:24:49 PM »
As for your recap items, what you should do is read the Major League Baseball round-up, the NBA and WNBA round-ups, the NFL game recaps, the NHL round-ups in newspapers, and write yours like those, with the most pertinent highlights highest up in the items.

What you're looking for, beyond the leading scorers and top statistics and/or the key highlights of the turning points of the games, are interesting facts of either the historical or statistical or personal variety that you might not see or find in the box-/line-score or agate.

Notice the types of facts included, the order of things presented, and the repetitiveness of them. Then, do that, over and over, until it becomes a formula -- that's what it is. Think of it as painting by numbers. That will help you think about and notice things, and understand, so that you really get it down.

In short, read what's in newspaper recaps, and write your things like that. There's a reason that they're done that way, and that style of writing can be applied to any level of sports writing, even the high school games that you may eventually cover for a paper as a stringer.

If you write your high school gamers like that, and do them well, with the rules of good English and grammar applied, and most importantly, make deadlines, you will make friends in a newsroom.

And, you will keep getting called on for more work.
Thank you. Actually when I write this I usually have a game recap of the same sport from the AP.  I do need to include more facts then numbers, but definitely looking at an AP gamer while writing my NIT final one helped a lot. Thanks for your suggestion.

Offline Boom_70

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #62 on: April 06, 2010, 06:33:23 PM »
My thesis is due next week for my Doctorate.   Would a few of you be willing to have a look and make some suggestion.  Its a tad long - 1500 pages but the help would me much appreciated.

pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #63 on: April 12, 2010, 03:35:28 PM »
My thesis is due next week for my Doctorate.   Would a few of you be willing to have a look and make some suggestion.  Its a tad long - 1500 pages but the help would me much appreciated.
I have tried not to respond however, did I do something to provoke this comment?

Offline Stitch

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #64 on: April 12, 2010, 06:03:48 PM »
My thesis is due next week for my Doctorate.   Would a few of you be willing to have a look and make some suggestion.  Its a tad long - 1500 pages but the help would me much appreciated.
I have tried not to respond however, did I do something to provoke this comment?

Boom is just having some fun. Lighten up and don't feel like you have to respond.

pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #65 on: April 13, 2010, 02:39:28 PM »
My thesis is due next week for my Doctorate.   Would a few of you be willing to have a look and make some suggestion.  Its a tad long - 1500 pages but the help would me much appreciated.
I have tried not to respond however, did I do something to provoke this comment?

Boom is just having some fun. Lighten up and don't feel like you have to respond.
I sent him a PM as many people said I should do. However after 5 days I got no response, so I had to post it here.

Offline TheSportsPredictor

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #66 on: April 13, 2010, 02:43:15 PM »
My thesis is due next week for my Doctorate.   Would a few of you be willing to have a look and make some suggestion.  Its a tad long - 1500 pages but the help would me much appreciated.
I have tried not to respond however, did I do something to provoke this comment?

Yes. You signed up as a sock puppet.

Offline Stitch

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #67 on: April 13, 2010, 03:06:39 PM »
My thesis is due next week for my Doctorate.   Would a few of you be willing to have a look and make some suggestion.  Its a tad long - 1500 pages but the help would me much appreciated.
I have tried not to respond however, did I do something to provoke this comment?

Boom is just having some fun. Lighten up and don't feel like you have to respond.
I sent him a PM as many people said I should do. However after 5 days I got no response, so I had to post it here.

Go out and get some fresh air if you are really in eighth grade. Don't waste your time trying to get into sports writing. There's always community college down the road.

pride of pleasantville

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #68 on: April 13, 2010, 04:35:21 PM »
My thesis is due next week for my Doctorate.   Would a few of you be willing to have a look and make some suggestion.  Its a tad long - 1500 pages but the help would me much appreciated.
I have tried not to respond however, did I do something to provoke this comment?

Yes. You signed up as a sock puppet.
I also have dealt with you. The overwhelming evidence points to me not being drip. However believe what you want. Also, stitch what is the matter now? I thought we were okay with each other?

Offline txsportsscribe

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #69 on: April 13, 2010, 06:47:37 PM »
and the oscar goes to ...

Offline Greg Pickel

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Re: I am young and looking for a critique of my work
« Reply #70 on: May 29, 2010, 11:43:00 AM »
I can't believe this thread is still going, wow!

My best advice is to keep reading, anything you can.  It's amazing what you can learn, not only general knowledge, but grammar knowledge as well, just by continuing to read.