Article critique

I am really raw on the sports writing scene and would love some good feedback (By good I mean what is right and wrong with it with no holding back!) on this article.

http://mvn.com/ncaa-texastech/2007/11/18/tech-stuns-3-oklahoma-34-27/

Thanks!!

Chris

 

The first thing I would do is break up those paragraphs. I know it isn't for a newspaper, but it is still really hard to read when you wrote basically a 12-inch story in three paragraphs.

Also, I assume you weren't at the game?
If you were, then your story needs a lot more than play-by-play.
If you weren't, then obviously you don't have quotes or much color to use, but starting with the first Oklahoma touchdown isn't the way to go.

That touchdown didn't mean much.

If you wanted to write from an Oklahoma angle, then write about how the Sooners nearly rallied from a 34-10 deficit.

If you wanted to write from a Texas Tech angle/or a neutral angle, then I would have written about how Tech has played really crappy the last couple of weeks, but came out on fire and dominated the No. 3 team in the nation.

Or you could have written about Oklahoma losing its quarterback early on.

Anyway, thanks for posting.

Also, out of curiosity, what is the web site you write for? Is it a big thing or a small thing? National?