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Dan Patrick's "big announcement"

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by NDub, Jul 2, 2007.

  1. DanOregon

    DanOregon Well-Known Member

    Anybody know if he's on today?
     
  2. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    I don't know if greatness is the word I'm thinking of ...
     
  3. patchs

    patchs Active Member

    Valvano pinchhitting today.
     
  4. DanOregon

    DanOregon Well-Known Member

    What a tease...
     
  5. spnited

    spnited Active Member

     
  6. D-3 Fan

    D-3 Fan Well-Known Member

    Unless DP is taking a two-week vacation to make up his mind before making "his" announcement, this was a ratings grabber for his show.

    Teasing whore.
     
  7. spnited

    spnited Active Member

    I repeat:

    self-serving, pompous ass.

    Dear Dan:
    We don't give a fuck what you're doing. Good-bye.
     
  8. Claws for Concern

    Claws for Concern Active Member

    He is in another one of Adam Sandler's movies. Perhaps he's going to work at ESPN's soon to be constructed studios located across from Staples Center in between bit parts in lame movies.
     
  9. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Dan Patrick is awesome; I would love to see him interview Tank Johnson.[/makingspnitedsheadexplode]
     
  10. spnited

    spnited Active Member

    Not quite dools. I really don't give a shit about either of them.
     
  11. D-3 Fan

    D-3 Fan Well-Known Member

    Bob Barker (picking up the phone):  Hello?
    ESPN:  Hey Bob?  This is ESPN.  How is retirement so far?
    Bob:  Going well.  In fact, I'm on the course making Sandler my bitch again.  For real.
    ESPN:  That's good, that's good.  Say, we wanted to ask you if you were interested in doing some guest appearance work, if it's workable in your schedule.
    Bob:  Go on...
    ESPN:  Well, there was talk that Dan Patrick, one of our stars, is planning on making a major announcement, but he's decided to tease the listeners and us on when he makes his decision.  We didn't want to be stuck between a rock and Holly's boobs, eh, a hard place.  So, we are looking for someone with a loyal and strong following who can replace Dan if and when he leaves.  Simply put, we really don't care if he comes back or not. 
    Bob:  What's the details of this offer?  (takes a swing at Sandler on the 10th Hole while talking)
    ESPN:  Money is not a problem for us to give you.  We're actually desperate to fill in air time with quality people.  It's a three hour shift Monday through Friday.  You can do a radio version of TPIR or rerun some of your best shows.  The listeners will eat it up!! 
    (Sandler in the background mocking)"They're all going to laugh at you!"
    Bob(taking his 5-iron and wrapping around Sandler's neck, strangling him)Well gee, I don't know.  I'm just getting used to hitting the links and enjoying retirement.  Did you know that Adam Sandler is a wonderful young man?  Can you give O'Donnell a call?  I heard she would really love to keep her family in New York and Bristol is a short trip for her.  I did mentioned her for the TPIR job, but at her last job, she was on some shaky ground. 
    ESPN:  We could give her a call.  After all, we are desperate for a big name to fill our 12pm to 3pm slot.  Seibel, Steve Phillips, Berithume, and Jason Smith are not, well, strong enough name-wise and ego-driven, to pull this off.  Thanks again Bob!
    Bob:  Don't you mention it! And don't forget to help control the pet population, have your pets spay or neutered, good-bye everybody!!!(breaking the 3-wood over a newly deceased Adam Sandler)
     
  12. HeinekenMan

    HeinekenMan Active Member

    Wow. That took some serious work. What's next? A three-act play? Why do people in the industry get so worked up over ESPN personalities? Everyone seems to loathe them for believing they're the center of the universe, and then those same people make it a major news story every time one of these ESPN entertainment hogs lets out a squeaky little fart.

    Maybe I just don't get it. I have never heard Dan Patrick's show. The last time I saw his face on a regular basis, I was a college student. But that's probably more because ESPN and its blessed Sports Center are no longer the center of my world.
     
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