Halloween, kids and co-workers

Let's not go overboard here. He said his wife has covered for him a lot in the past.

That being said, the guy isn't obligated to say yes, anymore than his wife isn't obligated to say yes, the next time he wants her to cover for him. She should point that out to him.

 

Did she cancel her plans to cover for him?

The implication here is that since the coworker doesn't have kids, his time is less valuable, so he should work on Halloween. I'm all for helpingba brother out, but if I've got plans and you've got plans, you're probably out of luck.

 

More valuable to the coworker? I doubt it. To Rhody's wife, sure.

ETA: Or what TSP said.

 

On a scheduling conflict like this, you might very well shrug and say "Oh, well, shit happens"... if it didn't involve the kids. From his side, it's exactly the same equation. From yours, and especially the wife's, it's a big deal.

Three year old, yeah, I understand it. A seven month old's first Halloween, on the other hand, isn't exactly a big experience, other than taking some pictures of the baby in a costume.

I've been in both places and in general I always did everything I could to cover for my coworker. That said, once in a while something was important enough that I said no, and given that I usually didn't she knew that I meant it if I did.

 

Also, Rhody, when did your wife ask him to cover for her? I mean, presumably, she's known for 16 months that your child's first Halloween would be today. If she waited to ask him until he already had party plans, I'm guessing she asked him on pretty short notice. I don't blame him.

 

This wins.

 

Let's start off right away by throwing away this notion that just because you decided to have a kid (or kids), that decision entitles you to some kind of special treatment when it comes to work schedules. It doesn't.
That being said, as coworkers, you should have each other's backs when at all possible.
So, Halloween night and your coworker has young kids and you don't? You should cover for him/her. Christmas morning? You absolutely should cover for him/her. Easter morning? You absolutely should cover for him/her.
Now, with that understanding, if you're a parent and you want those days/times off, you are going to have to make it worth your kidless co-workers time. Therefore, if they've got plans on New Year's Eve, you should cover for them. If they're going to get drunk on St. Patrick's Day, you should cover for them.ETC.
The bottom line is working with others is give-and-take and if this were me in this situation and Rhody's wife never covered for me when I needed it, I wouldn't give one single shit about whether or not she was going to get to see her kids on Halloween. Not my problem. If she did cover for me, though, I would gladly work the shift for her to spend time with her little ones.
Going forward, Rhody's wife needs to remember the treatment her coworker gave her here and under no circumstances should she ever cover for him again until she's screwed him over and made him miss a date that's important to him.

 

Wait, now you don't even have a right to Christmas if you don't have kids?

This gets more ridiculous.

 

Did you read the first line of my post?
I bring up the Christmas thing because the whole "Parents get priority" logic almost always extends to Christmas scheduling and I think it's BS.
That's why I say you SHOULD cover for your coworkers if you don't have kids. And that's just for the morning. Past noon? Open season.
But it's a trade-off. If I'm a parent and I ask a coworker to cover for me on Halloween/Christmas/whatever and they don't, I won't get indignant but I damn well won't help them out when the shoe's on the other foot ... regardless of the circumstances. Up to and including a death in the family.
But I'm also an asshole so there's that.

 

You know the "Youngest" is 7 months old, right?
I don't think Mom not being there for his first Reece's Cup is going to scar the kid for life.
I doubt my kids - any of them - remember their "first" Halloween.
This (mom having to work and not being there) is a bigger deal to mom and dad than the kids.

 

As someone said, if this wasn't the youngest' first Halloween, my attitude is completely different. But the first one? Come on. Show up at 4 so she can leave; the shift ends at 8. My wife will be there til 8 and when she gets home at 845ish, the kids will be in bed.
Christmas morning people with kids who still believe in Santa should get help. As Schieza said, after noon that doesn't even count.
And if you're a parent working with people without kids, you need to step up on big drinking nights/hangover mornings for co-workers.
Ryan - you're right, this is a bigger thing for us. But I'd rather be there for the first than any other one.

 

These threads are great for spotting Miserable Single Guy.